Getting Ready for the Most Romantic Date in the History of the World (The Spooge Song)

Description: original comedy song by One Eye Jim (lyrics and chords below) *** Artist: One-Eye Jim & the Twins Album: Here I Come Song: "Getting Ready for the Most Romantic Date in the History of the World" *** (capo 4th fret and play the following chord shapes) [Bm7]Getting ready for the [E]most [A]romantic date in the [D]history of the world... [Bm7]Got my little [E]checklist of things to [A]do... Number one: take a number two Number two: shower after number one Number three: jerk off preventatively Number four: stress about the whore. So number five: get hiyeeeuh-high-eeee-high Don't stop smokin' till you start losin' sight. Number, uh, what number are we on? Oh nevermind, I've got pizza in the fridge! The best fuckin' pizza I've ever had! I hop online to surf for a while, Make my way to the red light aisle Where I jerk off...preventatively Number 8: Try to think if I ate, Number 9: Worry 'bout bein' late So number 10: Furiously masturbate. Number 11: I'm on my feet Number 12: I'm outside on the street. 13: Hope I jerked off sufficiently 14: We're in each other's arms 15: We're climbin' into bed [G]And 16 seconds [F]later I come. Uh, huh. [A riffing] Yeah. [Bm7]That's like two [E]8-second bull rides [A][D]back to back [Bm7]Without any [E]restin' in be[S]tween. It's like I'm superhuman or something. Maybe I am? One can never be too sure, But without you I'm no superman. So as I pay her I promise yet again, "Next time it's ladies first, then gentlemen." But she just looks at me and hacks up some phlegm. It's probably someone else's spooge...Mmm But she's an independent woman like that. ***