After an epically horrible week, Kelsey B. and Kelsey M. cheer themselves up by... more »

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April 12, 2016


♪ ♪
[together]: day!
I've never had a Kingston [...]
I've never had a bat
mitzvah, or even a sweet 16,
because I was born on a
leap year, and technically I'm only 4.
You look so good
for 4, and so hot for 4.
Anyway, today
I'm becoming a woman.
Not just any woman, Meg Ryan,
because we are
getting the bobs we deserve.
You know, we
had such a bad week.
Oh my God, I found a tooth in a
sandwich, and it wasn't even my tooth.
-Oh my God.
-And it wasn't my sandwich either.
Why were you eating it?
It was on the street.
Well, an air conditioner fell
on me the first day of my period.
My boss died after I
threw a printer at him.
My lips got so chapped that
blood started dribbling down
my chin during a Skype call
with the president of our company.
I saw a poodle with shifty eyes,
and he followed me all the way
down the block, and made
me feel bad about my ankles.
I slipped in the shower
and fell right on my back.
I cracked a tile.
[Jimmy Durante, "Make Someone Happy" plays]
[together]: Let's do this!
[big exhale]
♪ It's so important to
make someone happy ♪
♪ Make just one someone happy ♪
♪ Make just one heart to heart you ♪
♪ You sing to ♪
♪ Love is the answer ♪
♪ Someone to love is the answer ♪
♪ Once you've found her ♪
♪ Build your world around her ♪
♪ Make someone happy ♪
♪ Make just one someone happy ♪
♪ And you will be happy too ♪
I-I-I feel like I committed a hate crime.
I think I'm going to
go back to dog grooming.
♪ ♪
We did it. We did it. We did it.
You look so good.
You look like Meg Ryan
in You've Got Mail.
[laughs] You look like
Meg Ryan in In the Cut.
I love it.
You both look like Ellen.
I should've bleached my eyebrows.
-We don't look good.
-We look terrible.
-Let's go back in.
$20 dollars I'll never see again.
We shouldn't have gone
to the expensive place.
I didn't want you to do it at home.
♪ ♪