Iraq War vet Tyler has had enough and finally deals with all of the other rude party guests.
- March 14, 2010
- 2m Views
Starring Bryan Cranston
Featuring: David Neher, John McKinney & Jennie Pierson.
Written by David Neher
Directed/Edited by Osmany Rodriguez & Matt Villines
Produced by Mike Farah
Cinematography by Kevin Atkinson
Production Design by Rachel Ferrara
Production Coordinators: Sean Boyle & Michelle Fox
1st A.C. Kevin Porto
Gaffers: Jay Guffey and Champ Kind
P.A.: Matt Mazany
Sound: BoTown Sound
March 14, 2010
Bryan Cranston: ...and served the past eight years. A couple tours in Iraq.
David Neher whistles.
David Neher: You see any shit while you were there? I mean, did you get into the shit?
Bryan Cranston: Well, I lost my sense of smell there. So yeah, I saw some shit.
David Neher: So you can't smell anything?
Bryan Cranston: No. There was a roadside IED that just went off and threw our Humvee into a ditch. That was it.
David Neher shakes his head disbelievingly.
David Neher: So now you can't smell the petals or a rose or a newborn baby?
Bryan Cranston shakes his head in the negative.
Bryan Cranston: No, I can't smell either of those things or anything else for that matter.
David Neher: What about Limburger cheese? Can you smell that?
Bryan Cranston gives David Neher a flat stare.
Bryan Cranston: No.
David Neher: Oh.
David Neher give Bryan Cranston a look and then farts. The shot cuts to a close-up of Bryan Cranston's mouth. He appears to be tasting something foul. The shot then cuts to a close-up of David Neher, who has a puzzled look on his face. Bryan Cranston gives David Neher another flat stare.
Bryan Cranston: Excuse me.
Bryan Cranston walks away. David Neher walks over to John McKinney and touches his arm.
David Neher: Hey, did you get a chance to talk to that Tyler guy?
John McKinney: You mean the war hero?
David Neher: I mean the liar.
The shot cuts to Bryan Cranston looking uncomfortable.
David Neher (voiceover): I cut the cheese and I know he smelled it.
The shot cuts back to John McKinney and David Neher.
John McKinney: Same thing happened to me. Over there, he drops his napkin...
Shot cuts to Bryan Cranston dropping a napkin and leaning over to pick it up.
John McKinney (voiceover): ...I figure I can just squeak one out, right, because he can't smell anything.
The shot cuts to Bryan Cranston leaned over and John McKinney farts. The little umbrella in Bryan Cranston's drink is blown out of the cup.
John McKinney (voiceover): He comes back up and gives me this look like he totally smells it.
The shot cuts to Bryan Cranston standing up and giving John McKinney a look.
John McKinney (to Bryan Cranston): What?
The shot cuts back to John McKinney talking with David Neher.
David Neher: I've got to say something.
John McKinney: You wouldn't be you if you didn't. Oh boy.
David Neher starts to approach Bryan Cranston when the shot cuts to Jennie Pierson tapping on a glass.
Jennie Pierson: Excuse me, everyone!
Everyone in the room except Bryan Cranston begins chanting “Speech!” They do not stop while Jennie Pierson tries to speak.
Jennie Pierson: Well, I'm gonna give one. I just want to say thank you for coming tonight to my party. I appreciate it. Thank you for bringing...
Jennie Pierson is drowned out by the chanting while the shot cuts to Bryan Cranston, who looks annoyed. The shot cuts to David Neher and John McKinney chanting. The shot then cuts back to Jennie Pierson.
Jennie Pierson: Well, I guess I'll just go ahead and give a shout out to my good friend Tyler, who's serving in the US Armed Forces.
The chanting abruptly stops and the shot cuts to Bryan Cranston looking uncomfortable. The shot cuts to Jennie Pierson.
Jennie Pierson: Thank you so much, Tyler.
The shot cuts to Bryan Cranston.
Bryan Cranston: Thank all of you.
David Neher: Yes, thank you, Tyler, for your sacrifice and your honesty.
Bryan Cranston: You're a dick.
David Neher: You know you smelled my fart, just admit it.
Bryan Cranston: I did not smell your fart. I tasted it.
David Neher looks extremely confused.
Bryan Cranston: When I lost my sense of smell, my sense of taste was enhanced. In fact, I tasted a lot of your farts here tonight, from a variety of sources.
The shot cuts to Jennie Pierson looking around the room.
Bryan Cranston: Now, I didn't do two tours of duty in Iraq just to come home to eat a bunch of farts or queefs.
The shot cuts to one of the female partygoers and then back to Bryan Cranston.
Bryan Cranston: Toots and poots. Fanny biscuits. Spirit of Dukey Smellington. And Matt here.
Bryan Cranston gestures to John McKinney.
Bryan Cranston: Matt was kind enough to cook me up a batch of his cheese flat doo-doo mushroom stew and he blew it right in my face.
The shot cuts to John McKinney looking stunned.
John McKinney: I'm sorry.
The shot cuts back to Bryan Cranston who raises his glass to John McKinney.
Bryan Cranston: Thank you very much for that, Matt.
Bryan Cranston turns to face the room.
Bryan Cranston: Look, I faced a lot in Iraq. I experienced the brutality of war firsthand. I buried friends. I saw things I wish I could forget, but I know I never will. But none of that compares to the air attack of bean bombers that I had to endure here tonight. The taste is still in my mouth. Now, I want you to all just chew on that like I had to chew on your crack rattlers and your pants blasting juice poofs. Thanks so much for the Famous Anus cookies.
The shot cuts to Jennie Pierson.
Jennie Pierson: Well, Tyler, I think that on behalf of...
All the guests begin chanting “Speech!” again.
Jennie Pierson: ...everyone here, we want to apologize. It's disgusting and we are sorry.
The shot cuts to Bryan Cranston who gives the room full of chanting guests a disgusted look, turns and leaves.
Jennie Pierson: Please, don't go.
The shot cuts to black.
Jennie Pierson (voiceover): I made bacon-wrapped asparagus spears.