Jerry O'Connell Auditions for Two and a Half Men

Actor

Jerry O'Connell

Grip

ellhoof

Director of Photography

Brian Lane

Actor

Brandon Johnson

Producer

Ally Hord

Actor

Jerry Minor

Executive Producer

Funny Or Die

Actor

Charles Ingram

Actor

NickCorirossi

Editor

Andy Maxwell

Additional Credits [+]

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WEBVTT 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:03.000 <v Brandon Johnson > Alright, go ahead and slate. 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:08.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Jerry O’Connell, reading the role of Charlie. 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:14.000 <v Jerry Minor> Go ahead and make it your own. You know, obviously the role is already there, but do your best with it, okay? 00:00:14.500 --> 00:00:15.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Okay. 00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:16.000 <v Brandon Johnson > And thanks again for coming in Jerry. 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:20.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Thanks for having me. This is exciting. Everything’s moving so fast. 00:00:23.000 --> 00:00:25.000 <v Ally Hord> Have you been drinking all this wine, Charlie? 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:27.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> What wine? Will it make Tanya go away? 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:30.000 <v Ally Hord> If you drink enough, it’ll make anyone go away. 00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:34.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> I won’t be needing this then. 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:37.000 <v Ally Hord> Getting drunk this early in the morning usually… 00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:37.500 <v Jerry O’Connell> I like you. 00:00:37.500 --> 00:00:38.000 <v Ally Hord> …has bad consequences, Charlie. 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:40.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> You’re a goddess. You are. 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:47.000 <v Brandon Johnson> Okay, Jerry, we don’t really need you to improvise right now. If you just want to read what’s on the page, we’re sort of at a critical pass today. 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:57.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> I’m an F-18. Listen. I pay women to hang out. Whatever else happens. I’m on a roll people. 00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:07.000 <v Jerry Minor> Okay, I like what you’re doing there. You know what? Here’s an idea. Let’s just let you get that out, okay. Obviously, you’ve got some ideas, so let’s let you roll for a little bit. Alright, let’s start from the beginning, alright? 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:08.000 <v Ally Hord> You ready? 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:16.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> My father was in Apocalypse Now. Winning. Okay. Duh. 00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:19.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> I have tiger blood, but I have a puma mind. 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:21.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> I have a brother, too. Emilio. 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:22.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Winning. 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:25.000 <v Jerry Minor> Jerry, Jerry, that’s not the line. 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:28.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Winning. Winning. Don’t get mad at me because I’m having a better life than you. 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:32.500 <v Jerry O’Connell> You’re mad because I have a better life than you. You’re all just mad because I have a better life than you. 00:01:32.500 --> 00:01:38.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> I’ll sit down at a table, okay, and I’ll say I’m sorry if I offended you. You can’t take a joke? 00:01:39.000 --> 00:01:41.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> I’m sorry. Goddess. I am sorry. 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:45.000 <v Brandon Johnson> Whoa! Jerry. Just go ahead and sit back down for us. 00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:50.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Come on, feel it. Come on, feel the abs. 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:52.000 <v Ally Hord> Oh my god. 00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:54.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Let’s reslate. I’m sorry. Okay. I’m gonna bring it down. 00:01:57.000 --> 00:01:58.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Pow. Pow. 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:08.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> I’ve got a woman in my room who won’t leave and it’s almost 10am. I have a date in a couple hours. If she stays any longer there’s going to be bad consequences. 00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:13.000 <v Ally Hord> Gee, 10am, that’s a record right? Usually, you kick them out before 8. 00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:13.500 <v Jerry O’Connell> Yeah. 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:14.500 <v Jerry Minor> Uh oh. 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:15.500 <v Jerry O’Connell> Yeah. 00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:17.000 <v Brandon Johnson> No. 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:18.000 <v Jerry Minor> You don’t have to do anything... 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:19.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> I can show you something. 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:20.000 <v Jerry Minor> …just go back into the scene. 00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:25.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Oh god, push it. Tiger pee. Tiger pee. Tiger pee-pee. 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:27.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Look at me, goddess. Look at me. Look at me. 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:28.500 <v Ally Hord> No. 00:02:29.500 --> 00:02:30.000 <v Ally Hord> No! 00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:34.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> There you go. Test it. Test it. Test it. 00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:36.000 <v Jerry Minor> Test it? Test it with what? 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:38.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Clean. Clean. 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:39.000 <v Brandon Johnson> There’s no way to test it. 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:42.000 <v Jerry Minor> Oh my god. No. No. No! 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:46.000 [ Horrified screaming and yelling ] 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:47.500 <v Jerry O’Connell> Yeah. 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:49.000 <v Jerry Minor> Why would you do that? 00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:49.500 <v Jerry O’Connell> It’s a party man. 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:51.000 <v Brandon Johnson> Cut! Cut! 00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:52.500 <v Jerry O’Connell> Winning. 00:02:52.500 --> 00:02:53.000 <v Brandon Johnson> Cut! 00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:54.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> Winning. Winning. 00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:59.000 <v Jerry O’Connell> I’m Charlie. I’m Charlie. I’m Charlie.