Let John Douche (Dylan McDermott) be your rhythm vacation when you enter the Douche School of Dance.
Published August 08, 2010 510k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Dylan McDermott
Created by Dylan McDermott
Written by Dylan McDermott and Alex Fernie
Directed by Lauren Palmigiano
Edited by David Patton
Featuring: Myra McWethy and David Hunt
Also: Abby Albright, Robin Weitz, Dana Buning, Veronica Scheyving, Lucia Trozzi, Hali Hudson, Barbara Stuart, Janice Glaab, Fiona Chavers and Shasi Wells
Director of Photography: Antonio Scarlata
Gaffer: Richard Kim
G/E: Brigitte Bartholdi
Production Design: Katie Byron
Wardrobe: Leslie Schilling
Makeup/Hair: Shauna O’Toole
Makeup/Hair: Carla Farra
Sound: BoTown Sound
PA: Samantha Gross
Production Coordinator: Lindsey Robinson
Production Coordinator: Michelle Fox
Special Thanks: Bryna Rifkin and Raj Raghavan
9,027 Funny Votes
4,532 Die Votes
511,825 Views
Published: August 08, 2010

Male Speaker 1:
(whispers) Exclusive.
Male Speaker 2: Ever since man
first climbed out of the
primordial muck
there has been that.
I am John Douché, and this--
Dylan McDermott: [accented] is the Douché,
School of Dance.
[music plays]
Dylan McDermott: Anyone can dance, anyone,
except for the laziest people.
Dylan McDermott: You see, our bodies sports
a throb with energies.
Dylan McDermott: We must free them.
Now, I know many of you are caught
Dylan McDermott: in loveless marriages,
and rhythmless lives.
Dylan McDermott: Let me, John Douché,
be your rhythm.
Dylan McDermott: Let me, John Douché,
be your fantasy.
Dylan McDermott: Let me, John Douché,
be your release.
[he exhales]
[takes in a breath]
[and exhales again]
[and exhales again]
[and exhales again]
Dylan McDermott: (Voiceover) I am more than
just a dance teacher.
Dylan McDermott: I am [speaks foreign language]
therapist, confidant.
Dylan McDermott: Perhaps this is because
of my Argentinian background.
Dylan McDermott: Now, I spent two weeks
there when I was 14.
Dylan McDermott: You see this?
It's open.
Dylan McDermott: That's what I
want to teach you.
Dylan McDermott: So go ahead.
Ask me a question.
Dylan McDermott: Ask me anything.
Myra McWethy: Who are
your heroes?
Dylan McDermott: One baby.
Wilt Chamberlain. Jorge Cruise.
Dylan McDermott: All the
ass monsters.
Veronica Scheyving: Where did you
study dance?
Dylan McDermott: You don't study dance,
pussycat. You live it.
Dylan McDermott: But to answer your
question Omaha City College.
Dylan McDermott: My dream is to be a judge on
So You Think You Can Dance,
Dylan McDermott: Dancing with the Stars, [inaudible],
Dylan McDermott: whatever bullshit
show is on.
Dylan McDermott: I think I could take
it to another level.
Dylan McDermott: Bottom 3. Next.
Dylan McDermott: I need need soul.
Class: I need soul.
Dylan McDermott: I need love.
Class: I need love.
Dylan McDermott: I love John Douché.
Class: I love John Douché.
Dylan McDermott: I bang Douché.
[Spanish music plays]
David Hunt: What the fuck?
Dylan McDermott: This class is for
women only.
David Hunt: Get your hands
off my wife.
Myra McWethy: Oh Eugene relax,
we're just dancing here.
David Hunt: Come on Samantha.
We're leaving.
Myra McWethy: What?
David Hunt: Stay away from
my wife, Douche.
Dylan McDermott: It's pronounced
Douché.
Dylan McDermott: (Voiceover) Life is
like a box of crayons.
Dylan McDermott: My job is to bring colors
out of other people.
Dylan McDermott: That mission is why I started
the John Douché School of Dance.
Dylan McDermott: And, well...
Dylan McDermott: I enjoy having
sexual intercourse
Dylan McDermott: with middle
aged women.

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