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Well, the World Cup is coming to a middle which is very exciting. What's not exciting... more »
Published June 24, 2014 81k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Written by Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Camera Op: Cristina Dunlap
Editor: Ian Skalski
Camera Op: Matt Sweeney
Art: Tricia Robertson
Follow Erin & Bryan on Twitter
Erin:
http://www.twitter.com/gibblertron
Bryan:
http://www.twitter.com/bryansafi

(ERIN): THIS IS
(ERIN AND BRYAN TOGETHER): THROWING SHADE.
(BRYAN): WHERE FEMINASTY ERIN GIBSON,
(ERIN): AND HOMOSENSUAL BRYAN SAFI,
(BRYAN): TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES AND POLITICS,
(ERIN): AND POP CULTURE,
(BRYAN) AND TREAT THEM WITH MUCH
LESS RESPECT THAN THEY DESERVE.
(ERIN): CAN YOU HANDLE IT?
NEVER WANT TO SEE ANOTHER
MARTINI IN MY LIFE.
- OOH...
- EVER, EVER, EVER...
WELL YOUR MARTINI LOVE AFFAIR
STARTED LIKE THE MOST
AWKWARD ROMANCE IN THE
WORLD, BECAUSE I WAS WITH
YOU WHEN YOU ORDERED A MARTINI--
WE BASICALLY, WE HAD A
THREESOME WITH THE MARTINIS.
- YES.
- YEAH.
BECAUSE YOU WERE
HAVING MARTINIS TOO.
BUT BECAUSE OF YOU EXCEPT YOU
WERE HAVING GIN, AND I WAS HAVING
VODKA.
IN MINNEAPOLIS I HAD A MARTINI--
YEAH.
AT THE RESTAURANT--
YEP.
A MARTINI IN BED, WHILE WE
WATCHED REAL HOUSEWIVES.
WE HAD MARTINIS IN BED.
GROSS.
SO GROSS.
WHILE WATCHING BRAVO.
THEY WON, BRAVO WON.
NO, NO, WE WEREN'T WATCHING
BRAVO. WE WATCHED BRAVO
BEFORE WE WENT TO DINNER.
WE WERE WATCHING
RESTAURANT IN KITCHEN--
(TOGETHER): WITH
KITCHEN NIGHTMARES.
WE WATCHED RAMSEY'S KITCHEN.
THIS IS MARTINIS BEING LIKE,
THESE PEOPLE ARE AWFUL.
REMEMBER WHEN WE STARTED
THIS TOUR THIS TIME WE WERE
LIKE EVERY SINGLE TIME WE GO
OUT WE'RE NOT DOING GRILLED
CHEESE WHEN WE GET HOME,
WE'RE NOT EATING WHEN WE GET HOME--
WELL WE DIDN'T DO GRILLED
CHEESE WHEN WE GOT HOME--
NO BUT WE DID--
WE DID M AND M'S
WE DID A SOBA NOODLE SALAD--
WE DID DO A SOBA--
AND MACARONI AND CHEESE.
SO, I MEAN...
BUT NO GRILLED CHEESE.
WE CAN NOT DO IT.
WE KEPT OUR PROMISE.
SEE HERE'S WHAT MY FATAL
FLAW WAS WITH THE MARTINIS.
YEAH.
MARTINIS--
IT WASN'T NEAR, IT WAS
ACTUALLY NEAR FATAL.
MARTINI DIDN'T TELL ME
THAT IT'S JUST GIN.
YEAH.
I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A
VODKA SODA WHERE THERE WAS
TINY BITS OF VODKA MIXED
WITH WATER.
YOU LITERALLY SAID TO ME,
THERE'S A LOT OF GIN IN THIS.
AND I WAS LIKE, IT'S JUST GIN.
THAT IS LITERALLY, WITH A
DASH OF VERMOUTH, BUT IT
WAS PURE ALCOHOL.
AND I WAS LIKE OOH, OR, OOOH.
YEP.
YEAH YOU DID, YOU HELD IT LIKE
A CIGARETTE. ERIN, I'VE NEVER SEEN--
BUT THEN I THREW UP. YEAH.
IT WAS, THE BEAST WAS UNLEASHED.
I HAVE NEVER
EVER SEEN YOU DRUNK, LIKE
THAT DRUNK, BUT THIS WAS
FULL YOUR BODY LEADING YOU
INTO WALLS. LIKE YOU WERE
OUT OF CONTROL.
SPEAKING OF DRUGS.
I KNOW, I HAD A WHOLE OTHER
ISSUE GOING ON WHILE WE WERE GONE.
AS YOU KNOW I NOW HAVE A
HORRIBLE FEAR OF FLYING.
YEAH.
LIKE I FEEL RIGHT NOW THINGS
ARE GOING REALLY WELL FOR
ME, AND SO--
YOU'RE AFRAID OF DYING.
AND SO I THINK I'M GOING
TO DIE OR SOMETHING.
YEAH.
NOW I GET ON A PLANE, AND
I'VE NEVER HAD THIS--
YOU CAN SAY OR SOMETHING
BUT AGREEING WITH ME.
- YES.
- BUT YEAH.
YEAH, THAT COULD BE IT, BECAUSE
NOW I GET ON PLANES
AND I IMMEDIATELY...
BUT SO YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU HAD SOME
XANAX THAT YOU COULD GIVE ME--
I HAVE A LOT OF DRUGS, FROM
SURGERIES, FROM GYM FLOORS, YEAH.
EXACTLY. YEP, SO I TOOK--
HALF A XANAX--
HALF OF XANAX THAT YOU
GAVE ME ON THE PLANE.
I FELT GREAT. I INITIATED
CONVERSATION.
YOU WERE READING
THAT NEW YORKER.
YEAH.
ABOUT THE LOVE ISSUE--
YEAH.
AND THEN I WALKED BACK
AND YOU WERE LIKE...
HAVE YOU READ THIS
NEW YORKER?
AND I WAS LIKE NO, AND
YOU GO IT'S GOT WONDERFUL
STORIES ABOUT LOVE IN IT.
IT INSPIRED ME TO WRITE MY
OWN LOVE STORY.
AND I WAS LIKE--
AND I DID. I WROTE A THING
ABOUT MY FIRST LOVE--
WHO IS THIS PERSON? YOU WERE LIKE,
YOU LIVE IN MINNEAPOLIS?
YEAH. I'M WRITING A LOVE STORY.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHO YOU WERE.
AND I DID. I WROTE A FULL
STORY ABOUT THE FIRST GUY
I EVER FELL IN LOVE WITH,
ON XANAX, TALKING TO A WOMAN
WHO WAS READING
ANGELS AND DEMONS.
AND HAVING THE TIME
OF YOUR LIFE.
HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE,
WENT ON A BIKE RIDE IN
MINNEAPOLIS, HIGH AS A KITE--
I WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW I ALWAYS
ASK YOU IF YOU WANT TO
GO ON A BIKE RIDE BECAUSE
THAT'S MY THING TO DO.
YEAH.
YOU ALWAYS SAY NO.
ALWAYS.
AND THIS TIME YOU WERE LIKE,
YEAH WHY NOT.
AND I WAS LIKE, IT MIGHT RAIN, AND YOU GO
WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
WHO WAS I?
HOURS LATER WE HAVE OUR
MARTINIS. THE NEXT DAY WHAT--
WE'RE ON OUR BIKES GOING TO
THE MUSEUM, SO 2ND DAY ON
THE BIKE.
THIS IS DAY 2. I'VE ALREADY SLEPT
THROUGH THE NIGHT ON
THIS HALF OF XANAX HAS ALREADY
GONE THROUGH MY SYSTEM.
WE'RE AT A STOP LIGHT AND YOU GO,
DO YOU THINK I COULD OD?
I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO OD.
AND I SAID, WELL LET'S GET SOME
FACTS STRAIGHT, YOU'RE ON A
BICYCLE, WE'RE ABOUT TO GO TO
THE MUSEUM, AND YOU SLEPT
THROUGH THE NIGHT.
YOU ALSO DRANK A MARTINI ABOUT
HOURS AFTER YOU HAD A XANAX.
- HALF.
- HALF A XANAX, RIGHT.
SO, MY ANSWER I THINK, I'M NOT
A DOCTOR BUT IS NO.
BUT DID I TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT?
NO YOU DIDN'T. WHAT DID YOU DO,
YOU CALLED POISON CONTROL?
- I DID.
- YEAH.
I DID (LAUGHS). I CALLED...
YOU CALLED POISON CONTROL
ALMOST 24 HOURS AFTER YOU
HAD A MARTINI, AND ALMOST TWO
DAYS AFTER YOU HAD A XANAX.
FIRST OF ALL IT WAS ON OF
THE MOST PLEASANT PHONE
CONVERSATIONS I HAVE EVER
HAD IN MY LIFE.
HIS NAME WAS RICK. HE WAS CALM,
HE WAS COOL, HE WAS
COLLECTED. HE ASKED ME WHAT
MY PROBLEM WAS. HE SAID, LIKE
WHAT'S GOING ON--
I WISH I WOULD'VE BEEN THERE I
WOULD TELL HIM GIVE HIM THE WHOLE LIST.
AND I SAID WELL, I'M PROBABLY
OVER REACTING, BUT YESTERDAY
MORNING I TOOK A HALF A XANAX,
LAST NIGHT I HAD A
MARTINI, WOKE UP THIS MORNING,
AND I'M SCARED.
AND HE WAS LIKE, SO
WHAT ARE YOU ON?
I'M NOT ON ANYTHING,
BUT YESTERDAY--
DID YOU JUST TELL HIM
YOU HAD A BIKE RIDE?
I TOOK HALF A XANAX--
WHILE I'M ON THE HIGH OF A BIKE RIDE.
I SAW THE CLOCK EXHIBIT AT
THE WALKER, AND THEN I CAME
HOME ON MY BIKE--
HAVE YOU SEEN THAT CHERRY IN
THAT SPOON IN THE SCULPTURE...?
YEAH, THAT'S WHERE I WAS.
COULD I OD OFF OF THAT?
AND RICK GOES, OH NO, YOU
HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY--
I MEAN, EVEN IF YOU WOULD'VE
DONE THOSE THINGS TOGETHER
IT WOULD'VE TAKEN A LOT OF
ONE OF THOSE THINGS OR BOTH
FOR ANYTHING BAD TO HAPPEN,
SO YOU'RE OK, AND I GO
YEAH I KNEW I WAS OVER REACTING.
SO YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE RICK.
NO, I MEAN, OH NO I
REALLY DIDN'T ACTUALLY.
NO.
YOU'RE AN ALCOHOLIC AND
I'M A DRUG ADDICT.
WE BOTH HAD NEAR DEATH
EXPERIENCES THIS WEEKEND.
DO YOU KNOW WHO ADAM
RICHMAN IS FROM MAN VS. FOOD?
IS HE THE ONE ALSO WHO IS
THE VILLAIN IN ROBIN HOOD?
YEAH. MM-HMM, EXACTLY.
YEAH.
HE'S IN HOT WATER HONEY.
UH-OH.
AND I'M NOT JUST SAYING BECAUSE HE'S MAKING SPAGHETTI.
OH THAT'S TO BAD, I WAS GETTING
HUNGRY FOR SOMETHING.
ADAM LOST A TON OF WEIGHT.
(BRYAN): YEAH GREAT.
(ERIN): YEAH, HE LOST 70 LBS.
WHICH IS EQUIVALENT
TO THE SIZE OF MY DEAD
GOLDEN RETRIEVER.
(BRYAN): GOD BLESS.
(ERIN): YEAH, GOD BLESS
MOJO. ON ONE OF HIS
FACEBOOK PHOTOS HE HAD
PUT THIS CAPTION ON IT.
IT SAID, HAD ORDERED THIS
SUIT FROM SAVILE ROW TAILOR OVER A
YEAR AGO. I DON'T KNOW--
SAVILE ROW. IT'S LIKE--
WHAT IS IT?
IT'S LIKE A HIGH END--
SO BRAGGING?
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
OK, I THINK I'M GOING
TO NEED TO TAKE IT IN A LITTLE.
ELLIPSES WITH
THESE HASHTAGS.
HASHTAG VICTORY,
YOU KNOW LIKE--
LIKE WEIGHT LOSS
VICTORY.
WHEN WE WON
WORLD WAR 2--
- RIGHT.
- THAT KIND OF VICTORY.
LET THE RIVER RUN.
YEAH. HASHTAG, EYES
ON THE PRIZE.
AND THIS IS THE ONE
HE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR,
AND HASHTAG THINSPIRATION.
NOW, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS
HASHTAG, AND WHO
USES IT USUALLY.
ANOREXICS USUALLY.
YEAH, IT'S PRO ANOREXIC,
PRO BULIMIA.
A COUPLE OF LADIES WHO WERE
CONCERNED HE WAS USING THIS
HASHTAG COMMENTED ON THE
THING, AND IT STARTED A
FLAME WAR ESSENTIALLY. THE
TRAVEL HOST TOLD ONE OF
THE WOMAN, DILLIGAF, WHICH
IS DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK.
HE CALLED ANOTHER GIRL A CUNT.
WHAT'S WEIRD ABOUT IT
IS THEY'RE TRYING TO EDUCATE
HIM THAT THIS IS A FEMALE
EATING DISORDER, WELL THERE
ARE MALE EATING DISORDERS,
BUT FOR THE MOST PART IT'S
FEMALE EATING DISORDER HASHTAG.
RIGHT.
THEN HE'S CALLING SOMEONE
A CUNT FOR POINTING IT OUT.
HE THEN CONTINUED HIS RANT
BY SUGGESTING ONE OF THE
PEOPLE WHO COMMENTED
COMMIT SUICIDE.
HE SAID, I LEGITIMATELY DON'T
GIVE A FUCK ABOUT
HATERS.
(LAUGHS)
WHICH YOU DO BECAUSE YOU ARE
RESPONDING TO THEM--
THAT'S SO FUNNY. IT'S THE
FUNNIEST WORD TO ME.
I KNOW.
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE 12 YEAR OLDS
USE THAT ON LIKE YOUTUBE VIDEOS.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE HATERS,
THIS IS THE RAIN
COAT I BOUGHT.
YEAH.
LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
IT'S SO STUPID.
BUT IT'S ALSO, YOU DO CARE
ABOUT THE HATERS BECAUSE
YOU'RE RESPONDING.
IF YOU'RE RESPONDING TO ANYBODY
THEN YOU CARE ABOUT
WHAT'S HAPPENING.
YEAH.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- YEAH.
I MEAN IF YOU REALLY DON'T
GIVE A FUCK THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
YEAH.
THEN GO ABOUT YOUR
DAY WITH YOUR SUITS.
YEAH. BE FERGIE.
YEAH. SERIOUSLY GRAB A
RAZOR BLADE AND DRAW A BATH.
I DOUBT ANYONE
WILL MISS YOU.
FINE, I MEAN LIKE,
HERE'S THE THING--
ALL OF THIS IN RESPONSE TO--
YES.
SOMEONE BEING LIKE, HEY I
DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE DOING WITH THIS
HASHTAG PLEASE ALLOW US TO--
IT WOULD ALMOST BE DIFFERENT
IF SOMEONE HAD TWEETED AT
HIM AND LIKE, YOU WERE FAT
THEN, YOU'RE STILL
FUCKING FAT, YOU'LL ALWAYS
BE FAT, YOU'RE DISGUSTING,
YEAH.
THEN TO BE LIKE GO KILL
YOURSELF IS LIKE, FINE.
FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO.
YEAH EXACTLY.
BUT THIS IS NOT
DOING THAT.
NO, THIS IS OFF
THE FUCKING RAILS.
SO HE APOLOGIZED TWICE,
KIND OF, THE FIRST THING HE SAID
ON HIS TWITTER WAS YES, I
RESPONDED TO THE INTERNET
HATE RECENTLY WITH VILE
WORDS DIRECTED AT THOSE
WHO WAS HATING ME. I AM SORRY.
I SHOULD KNOW BETTER,
AND WILL DO BETTER.
THAT TWEET WAS ERASED, AND
NOW HE'S RELEASED ANOTHER
THING WHERE HE SAID, I WANT
TO APOLOGIZE FOR ALL OF MY
INEXCUSABLE REMARKS. MY
BEHAVIOR WAS UNBECOMING, AND
UNACCEPTABLE. I'VE LONG
STRUGGLED WITH MY BODY IMAGE
AND I'VE WORKED VERY HARD
TO ACHIEVE A HEALTHY WEIGHT.
ALL THE MORE REASON YOU
SHOULD BE ABSOLUTELY, 100%,
SENSITIVE TO THIS IDEA THAT
YOU'RE USING A HASHTAG
THAT IS USED BY PEOPLE WHO
HAVE EATING DISORDERS.
DOES EVERYONE KNOW WHAT
A CHILL PILL IS?
GOOD QUESTION.
AND IT IS A XANAX.
BUT I DON'T KNOW IF HE IS ONE,
BUT LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING ABOUT ITALIANS.
OOH.
THEY HAVE A VERY PASSIONATE
MEAN STREAK, AND THEN THEY
COME BACK TO NEUTRAL, AND
THEN THEY SAY SOMETHING MEAN.
YEAH.
ITALIANS ARE VERY--
THAT SOUNDS LIKE
ANYBODY IRRATIONAL.
VERY, VERY--
- ARGENTINIAN?
- YEAH.
SAME THING.
IRISH, POLISH, PORTUGAL AMERICANS...
THEIR BLOOD WARMS UP QUICKER.
CANADIANS, MEXICANS, YEAH--
VERY...
THIS IS KIND OF LIKE THE
TOPPER ON THE CAKE. THE
CHERRY ON THE CUPCAKE.
THE CHERRY ON THE
WEDDING CAKE.
YEAH THE CHERRY ON
THE WEDDING CAKE.
I FOUND HIS APOLOGY ON U.S.,
ON U.S. WEEKLY... NOPE, US WEEKLY
USA TODAY?
- US WEEKLY.
- OH, US WEEKLY
THOSE ARE THE ONLY TWO MAGAZINE
AND SUBSCRIPTIONS I GET.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING
STORY WAS A HYPERLINK TO AN
ARTICLE CALLED CELEBRITY
WEIGHT FLUCTUATIONS.
GREAT.
SO IT'S LIKE THE MOST
LEASE SELF AWARE--
WHICH IS A NICE WAY TO SAY,
LOOK AT THESE FUN PICTURES OF
PEOPLE WHO ARE PRETTY
WHO GOT FAT.
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
AND THIS ARTICLE ABOUT HOW
A MAN RESPONDED TO PRO ANOREXIC
HASHTAG THAT HE WAS
INAPPROPRIATELY USING, AND
THEN GOT DEFENSIVE ABOUT.
YOU CAN'T KNOW
EVERYTHING, RIGHT.
RIGHT.
HE MIGHT'VE SEEN THINSPIRATION
SOMEWHERE ELSE--
RIGHT.
AND THEN LIKE THAT'S AN
APPROPRIATE THING FOR
ME TO USE HERE.
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT IS IT MAKES IT
SEEM LIKE OH, I'M INSPIRED TO GET THIN.
LIKE THAT'S WHAT IT
WOULD SEEM LIKE.
BUT IF SOMEONE'S LIKE,
HEY YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW THIS
BUT THIS IS WHAT THIS IS THE
REACTION SHOULDN'T BE,
WELL FUCK YOU,
YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
RIGHT.
LIKE, TAKE A CHILL PILL,
THINK ABOUT IT.
AGAIN, THERE'S A CERTAIN
KIND OF PERSON...
WHO HAS A FIRE.
YEAH.
WITHIN THEM.
DRAGONS.
THAT'S BORN THROUGH THEIR
BLOODLINE, AND THEY GENERALLY
LIVE IN VERY SPICEY ENVIRONMENTS.
YEAH, INDIANS.
AND LOVE TOMATO SAUCE.
IRAQIS.
THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY.
OH, ITALIANS, YEAH. ENGLAND.
YEP. ANYWHERE THAT GROWS
TOMATOES (LAUGHS), WATCH OUT.
ERIN YESTERDAY WAS ONE OF
THE SCARIEST DAYS OF MY EXISTENCE.
OH, BECAUSE OF THE WORLD CUP?
WELL I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
WAS GOING ON. I WALKED OUTSIDE
OF MY APARTMENT AND
SCREAMS EVERYWHERE.
- THAT WAS ME.
- IT WAS YOU?
I WATCHED THE WORLD CUP.
YOU DID?
I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT
SPORTS NOW BECAUSE I PLAYED
BASKETBALL, AND I KNOW WHAT
A ZONE DEFENSE IS AND I
UNDERSTAND WHEN PEOPLE ARE
TALKING ABOUT IT.
WELL ALL I KNOW IS WHEN I
WALKED OUT YESTERDAY, AND I
THOUGHT, IT'S COME, THE END
OF THE WORLD IS HERE.
PUT ON MY HEAD DRESS THAT I
MADE FOR COMMUNICATING WITH--
ALIENS.
YEAH.
- WITH ECHO?
- EXACTLY.
I DID MY WHOLE, BECAUSE I
WAS LATE TO HAIL BOPP.
I WAS ON A ROAD TRIP, AND I
WAS MAKING MY WAY BACK WHEN
THEY WENT TO THE COMET.
BUT YOU WERE EARLY FOR MMMBOP.
I WAS SO EARLY FOR MMMBOP.
YEAH.
BUT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
CARRIED AWAY ON HALLEY'S
COMET, AND IT DIDN'T
WORK OUT FOR ME.
FIFA. YOU MAY OR
MAY NOT KNOW--
SUPER CORRUPT. I KNOW.
I KNOW SPORTS.
YEAH. ONE OF THE WORSE
ORGANIZATIONS IN EXISTENCE.
I THINK WE ALL KNOW--
EVERYBODY AGREES WITH YOU.
EVEN FIFA, THEY'RE LIKE,
YEAH WE'RE DOING IT. WE'RE
NOT GOING TO STOP.
IT'S THE WORSE.
THEY HAVE TRIED TO COME DOWN
HARD AGAINST, SORT OF A ZERO
TOLERANCE POLICY AGAINST RACISM
IN THESE GAMES FROM
FANS, FROM TEAMS. WELL THE
MEXICAN TEAM HAS BEEN THROWING OUT.
THEY DID IT FIRST IN THEIR
MATCHUP AGAINST--
THE TEAM OR THOSE FANS?
NO THE FANS, SORRY, THE FANS.
HAVE BEEN THROWING OUT THE
WORD PUTO AT THE CAMERA--
AT THE BRAZIL TEAM THEY DID IT,
AGAINST THE BRAZILIANS,
AND AGAINST THE UM--
THE SWEEDS?
THE CAMA--
THE CAMERONIANS?
YES. HOWEVER YOU SAY THAT. AND
PUTO MEANS FAG IN SPANISH.
AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT THEY'VE
JUST BEEN LIKE HURLING, HURLING, HURLING.
THEY DID IT AT THE A--
DO THEY CHANT IT?
YES, BUT THEN THE BRAZILIAN FANS
ALSO STARTED SAYING IT.
FUN.
PEOPLE WERE UPSET THAT SORT OF
FIFA WAS DOING NOTHING ABOUT THIS,
THAT THERE WAS NO--
- OF COURSE.
- YEAH.
THERE'S AN ORGANIZATION
CALLED FARE, F-A-R-E.
THAT IS THE WING OF FIFA THAT IS
SORT OF THE ANTI-RACISM
WING, AND HOMOPHOBIA--
THEY HAVE A FULL WING FOR IT?
YES, BECAUSE THEY KNOW HOW
CRAZY THESE GAMES CAN GET, AND HOW--
SOCCER...
PASSIONATE PEOPLE CAN BE. AGAIN
THE BLOODLINES, AND
THAT KIND OF THING. WHAT FIFA
HAS IN PLACE IS SORT
OF ZERO TOLERANCE POLICIES
AGAINST RACISM FOR INSTANCE
I BELIEVE IT WAS THE CROATIAN
TEAM, AND THE
RUSSIAN FANS, THEY UNFURLED
NEO NAZI BANNERS, IN THEIR,
IN THEIR GAMES. WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY--
WHAT IS WRONG WITH EUROPE SPORTS?
I THINK AMERICAN
SPORTS ARE AWFUL, AND THEN
I REMEMBER SOCCER EXISTS OVER THERE.
A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN
COMMENTING THAT PUTO IS
NOT A HOMOPHOBIC WORD.
THEY MEAN IT SORT OF LIKE IN A
WAY THAT--
THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF
INTERNET COMMENTS THAT HAVE
BEEN LIKE, THEY DON'T MEAN
IT LIKE THAT.
LITERALLY THIS WAS ONE OF
THEM. IT'S A TRADITION TO
SCREAM THE WORD PUTO IN
THESE MATCHES THAT ONLY
STARTED IN 2003 THAT PEOPLE
STARTED SCREAMING THIS.
OH A LONG STANDING TRADITION.
EXACTLY.
THROUGH THE MIDDLE AGES. YEAH.
IT CAME WAY, WAY TOO LATE.
OH, IT WAS A NEW TRADITION.
YEAH, BUT REALLY NOTHING
THAT HAS BEEN
DONE ABOUT IT. THE MEXICAN
SOCCER COACH MIGUEL HERRERA,
HAS SAID THAT HE DIDN'T
THINK THE SLUR WAS THAT BAD.
BASICALLY THESE TEAMS ARE
GETTING WARNINGS, BUT NOTHING--
NOTHINGS HAPPENING.
NOTHING MORE SERIOUS
THAN THAT AT ALL.
LIKE FIFA IS GOING TO DO
ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
EXACTLY. IT'S REALLY HARD
TO WRAP YOUR BRAIN AROUND THE FACT
THAT FIFA WOULDN'T BE
TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY AT ALL--
WOULDN'T BE TAKING IT
SERIOUSLY. YEAH.
WOULDN'T BE TAKING IT
SERIOUSLY, BECAUSE THEY'VE
ALREADY AWARDED THE 2018
WORLD CUP TO RUSSIA WHICH AS
WE KNOW HAS A GAY PROPAGANDA
LAW, AND 2022 AS WE KNOW
QATAR WHICH HAS--
GIVE UP.
A MILLION REASONS, I MEAN
THERE IS A HUGE LIST AS TO
WHY THE GAMES SHOULD NOT BE
THERE. OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE OF
ALLEGATIONS OF ANTI BRIBERY--
CORRUPTION--
AND CORRUPTION AND
EVERYTHING LIKE THAT.
NOW QATAR HAS WHAT
THEY CALL A GAY TEST.
OH FUN.
WHERE BASICALLY WHERE MEDICAL
CHECKS WOULD BE DONE
TO PREVENT TRANSGENDER PEOPLE
FROM ENTERING THOSE COUNTRIES.
WHAT?
SO IN OTHER WORDS THEY
WOULD INSPECT YOU.
EWW... WHY? THAT'S SO AWFUL.
TO KEEP THEM OUT, TO MAKE SURE,
I GUESS THAT THEY WOULD HAVE
GENETIC TESTS TO PROVE THAT YOU
WERE BORN A MAN OR BORN A
WOMAN, BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T
ACTUALLY WANT YOU IN THAT COUNTRY.
SO WHEN SEPP BLATTER WAS
ASKED ABOUT THIS, THE GUY WHO IS--
(ERIN): UH-HUH. I'LL NEVER
FORGET WHO HE IS.
(BRYAN): FIFA'S PRESIDENT.
HE SUGGESTED THAT HOMOSEXUAL
FUTBOL FANS WOULD JUST HAVE
TO REFRAIN FROM SEXUAL ACTIVITY
IN QATAR. YEP, YEP.
DURING THE GAME?
NOT HAPPENING.
I MEAN, YOU COULD BE
IMPRISONED IN QATAR FOR
BEING GAY--
YEAH.
THEY'LL JUST SEND YOU
STRAIGHT TO PRISON.
AND HE SAID, WELL BUT WHAT
YOU'RE SPEAKING ABOUT IS
NOW GOING INTO
ETHICS AND MORALS.
SO CLEARLY THIS GUY IS A
TOTAL HOMOPHOBE BY THE WAY--
YEAH, ETHICS AND MORALS SO
LIKE LET'S GET'EM FUCKING
STRAIGHT EVERYBODY.
EXACTLY.
QATAR'S A NATION WITH OBVIOUSLY
CRAZY HUMAN RIGHTS ABUSES.
YEAH.
AND BASICALLY SLAVE LABOR, UM,
NOT EVEN BASICALLY IT IS--
EVERYTHING IN GAME OF THRONES
IS TAKEN FROM QATAR, YEAH.
EXACTLY. WHEN YOU'RE NOT
COMING DOWN AGAINST SOMETHING,
YOU'RE ESSENTIALLY CONDONING IT.
YEAH.
AND I DON'T KNOW, A MILLION
CHILDREN, FANS EVERYWHERE
ACROSS THE WORLD WATCHING
SOMEONE SCREAM FAG AT A PLAYER,
I GET THAT THERE IS A SORT OF
RIBBING, I GET THAT THERE
IS LIKE, YOU KNOW I MEAN,
YOU BOO AT GAMES I ASSUME.
YEAH.
THIS IS SORT OF GROSS. IT'S LIKE--
IT'S AWFUL.
YEAH, IT'S LIKE SCREAMING
THE N-WORD AT SOMEBODY.
CAN I-- WOULD I BE OK IF I
STILL WATCH THE USA GAMES?
NO, BUT YOU WOULD BE OK
IF YOU WATCHED THE USA NETWORK.
CHARACTERS WELCOME.
THAT'S THE ONLY SOLUTION.
CHARACTERS WELCOME.
CHARACTERS WELCOME.

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