In this episode entitled "That's Not Chocolate!", our pal Uncle... more »

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May 08, 2010



He's great with kids,
he's got real feelings.
He'll listen to your every problem.

No matter the thought,
no matter the day.
There's nothing he wouldn't do to solve them.

Now he did some time for some unrelated things back in the eighties.
But now he's takin care of your kids and everything will be dasies!

He's Uncle Mustachio! Uncle Mustachio! Not Unlce Molestio!

Thats not chocolate!

UM: Ok kiddies and laddies. Today is a special day for me.

Kid1: Why?

Kid2: Yeah uncle? Why?

UM: Thanks for asking sweeties, today is my first day without wearing an ankle bracelet!

Kid1: Oh, that thing wasn't your sock?

UM: Don't be so stupid you little slut. Of course that wasn't my sock. Why or how would that be a sock anyways? That was on my ankle. A sock goes over the foot. You think before you speak next time. What that device was, it was like, like a bird in a zoo. They have little tracking devices on their tiny little bird feet just in case one decides to have the evil urge of flying away and going somewhere quiet. If that urge ever happened, some horrible people would be able to find them because of the little tracking device and put them back into their cage.

Kid2: So what does this mean Mustachio? Can you play Basketball outside with us now instead of watching us by the window?

UM: What this now means is that Katie, yourself and Uncie Mustachio, we can go wherever we'd like a play Basketball!

Both Kid1&2: Woah! Super awesome!

UM: How about Thailand?!

Kid2: Where's that? I've never heard of that place before.

Kid1: Yeah?

UM: Well, Thailand is only about a few hours away on a fun plane ride. But, to make things go even faster, I have this special stuff that kind of smells like, well here kids, have a sniff.

As both kids drop to the ground, the parent's come and knock at the door.

UM: Mother fudger. Uhhh, who is it?

Parent1: Were here for our kids. It's 4:30 Uncle! Quit being silly!

Parent2: Yeah! Open up Stachio!

UM: Haha yeah, I'm just being silly! Come on in (GULP). It's just uhh, it's nap time. We had a long day of finger painting.

Parent2 reaches for what looks to be a finger painting of a monkey.

UM: Dont touch that!

Parent1: Ohh, that's cute! That looks brown as chococlate!

UM: That's not chococlate!