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The following footage was discovered by neighborhood children from a trailer park in... more »
Published June 12, 2011 53 views More Info »
Hey!
Hey!
What the hell y'all want?
Get the hell out of here!
Uh...
I am sorry, y'all.
Now y'all knows I got to be careful
who I let friend request me cause folks
start gettin' all weird and shit
when you get famous.
And, and, and, and...
Now y'all know I got a mouth
about as big as Mamaw's cankles,
but I ain't never let that stop me
from bitchin' about who or what I want
whatever comes in my mind!
Now for all y'alls out there that's
new to the legacy of these HISIs...
I am the annointed annoyed one
who is here to bring you the truth
about all that shit
that's wrong with the world.
I got to be on the DL right now.
You know, the Down Low...
I got some fuck buddies that likes to be on the-
Anyways...
So my name is...
But don't tell nobody,
unless they rich and they can
contribute to my beer kitty.
And this here is my show.
Now, if you can't read that...
Congrats! You passed my eye exam.
That'll be eighty dollars please
and go get you some damn new glasses.
(laughs)
(mysterious noise)
Has y'all ever had that feelin'
like you is gettin' followed?
Now I ain't talkin' about like when you twenty
and you trippin' and you thinkin' that
everybody is a zombie or a pirate
comin' to get ya!
This shit feel real.
I thought the paparazzi was outside my traile
until I found out it had been stormin'
for pertnear goin' on a week.
I was thinkin' everytime the wind blowed,
somebody was tryin' to get in my trailer,
now that I'm-
(burp)
-internet royally.
Yeah, royally.
Y'all I have got some die hard fans,
but with the fame comes some bad shit too.
You know, I got people stalkin' me at Publix-
And sometimes at Kroger-
And they peekin' up at my dressin' room
at the Salvation Army!
Y'all, I can't live like that.
I can't-
I just can't live like that...
(burps)
And y'all, I got internet stalkers.
I got this one dude...
He said he found me on YouTube
or some naked site-
What?!?
I got bills to pay mother fucker.
You gonna take care of them?
Hmm, yeah!
That's what I thought!
Judgmental bitches...
Y'all he all like,
"I loves you...
You my soulmate...
Here's a picture of me in some panties."
Ewww!
(scoffs)
Y'all, now that polite thing to do would be
to like ASK somebody do they WANT
to see naked pictures of you.
And fellers,
as a general rule,
if she ain't givin' you signs and signals
back at you...
MOVE ON!
Y'all ain't nobody playin' hard to get no more.
Your girl Lo prefer to get to the hard!
Yeah!
(laughs)
And speakin of...
I need to call up my FWB...
Whatever his name is...
He's my emergency contact in case
somethin' go wrong.
Y'all ring that number up
in case I go missin'.
Pru said God gonna strike me dead
cause I hateful and evil
and she said she gonna pray for me.
I said,
"You best be prayin' for my stallker,
cause I know for a fact
it is perfectly legal to shoot somebody
as long as you have the sense
and the upper body strength
to drag them inside!"
I ain't dumb!
Shit, I hope my stalker ain't no fatty,
or at least he bathe first...
Y'all know what?
I ain't gonna let all y'all misistanistic haters out there
afraid of a strong woman
and all y'all scared and spoiled-ass
celebuturds terrorize me!
Uh uhhhh...
Noooo!
I ain't scared of none of y'all stoop bitches!
So just bring it on, nuckfudgets,
cause I will throw the smackdown wrath
of Loretta on your ass!
Oooh!
I passed the physical for American Gladiators,
so how y'all like them apples and oranges?
(laughs)
Well, that's How I Seize It.
(door opens)
(strange giggling)
(running footsteps)
It's leprechauns!
Quick! Hit the deck!
Hey...
I had a suspicion it was you.
(gunshot)
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