Michael A. Shea tweets. He is followed. Livin' the dream!

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June 16, 2011


I’ve been doing some tweeting myself.  I recently hit the six hundred tweet mark.  It feels good to be hitting such lofty milestones without being tainted by a steroids scandal.  But the most exciting thing to happen was when Twitter informed me that Carolyn Hennessey was following my tweets!  Carolyn Hennessey!  She’s on the show Cougar Town.  Can we see my profile picture again?  That look on my face is actually how I looked when I found out that Carolyn Hennessey was following me.  I’m being following by a cougar!  Can we see that bucket list again?  Check.  And it gets even better.  I’m also followed by a guy and I really only know two things about him.  He’s gay and he is really, really funny.  Man, this guy is funny.  You know, when someone like me who is trying to be a comedy writer, runs into the tweets of someone like him, who is really, really funny, there’s really only one possible reaction.  Damn you, funny man who has more wit than I do and who can keep up funny tweets all day!  You know, if I could write curses that were more to the point and didn’t ramble on so much, I might be more successful in comedy writing.  Anyway, recently I got this tweet from him.   Pretty cool, huh?  I think I might be becoming some kind of gay icon.  Bucket list!  Okay, it didn’t get on until the second draft of my bucket list, but that’s still the bucket list.  But how cool is this.  Followed by a cougar and becoming a gay icon!  I’m being reminded that the cougar dropped my tweets after only about two hours. I almost forgot to mention that part.  Damn you cougar!  Turns out that my entire relationship with the cougar only lasted for a long lunch hour.  That’s just like cougars.  Don’t expect them to still be following your tweets in the morning.  No way.  Actually, it could be that Carolyn Hennessey dropped me because she realized that I am actually older than she is.  Which means, as a cougar, she was in violation of the rules.  Oh, well, I can still fall back on my gay icon status.  Oh, wait.  That’s my wife’s ring tone.  I’d better get that.  Hey, what’s going on?  Really?  That sounds cool.  Me?  I’m just doing a show.  Yeah, just got done telling everyone I think I might be becoming a gay icon.  When I was planning on telling you that?  Now.  Oh, you’re cool with that?  You think it’s sort of an honor?  Great.  Hey, listen, can I call you back?  Like I said, it’s the surprises in a marriage that keep it going.  Hey, here’s my other tweet news.  Chuck Norris is following me.  Sorry, but I’m being told that when Chuck Norris is following you, it actually just means that he is stalking you. Or you are following him even if you’re not by the rules of Twitter.  I think Chuck Norris has his own rules.