Editor and Founder of Big Black Butts Magazine. Former National Badmitton Champion. Grew up in pove... more >

Editor and Founder of Big Black Butts Magazine. Former National Badmitton Champion. Grew up in poverty and would swat flies away with a fly swatter. In competitive badmitton, I basically would like a that birdie as it came across and pretend it was a goddamn flie and developed a forceful delivery that no other badmitton competitor could touch. I recently won the Austrailian Gold Tanning Championships of which I am now guaranteed to be on at least one poster that will be distributed throughout tanning bed salons across the country to encourage others to have my golden, brown tan that people envy. I am a huge Gallahger fan. I think he is the funniest person to ever grace Earth. I would like to write for him down the rode because I would encourage him to smash more waterelons... < less