- Vanessa and I are gonna start a family,
give Angus a little brother.
- Oh, wow, that's great.
And you're sure that you can have kids?
- Oh, yeah.
- There's not, that won't be an issue.
- Well, that's good, I'm really happy for you and Vanessa.
- One might even say my dick has the Midas Touch.
- No, now this is an interesting wrinkle.
What do you mean by the Midas Touch?
- Cause everything my dick touches turns to gold.
- Oh goodness, well, that's terrible.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
- You're sorry?
- Well yeah.
- I wouldn't be sorry.
- Everything your dick touches turns to gold.
- Yeah, that's the definition of having the Midas Touch.
- Yeah, well the Midas Touch, in the story
of King Midas, is a curse.
- No, everything he touches turns to gold.
- Yeah, it's a morality tale.
It's something people understand that
they should not be greedy.
They should not want everything to be gold.
- But he's super wealthy.
He can do anything he wants.
- But in the story, oh Adrian, in the story,
everything he touches literally turns to gold.
- [Adrian] Yes.
- His food.
- His drink.
- His daughter.
- His penis when it touches other women, they turn to gold.
- No, oh, they turn to gold?
- Yes, and gold babies come out.
- No, once they turn to gold, they are dead.
- There's nothing in that story about dead gold babies.
- He kills everything he loves.
- With his penis?
- No, no, in the story, it's not his ...
You are appropriating it for your penis.
Wow, I can't even, what am I doing?
Anyway, the point being at the end of the story,
the curse is such that he has lost everything
and in fact, starves to death.
- That's the result of the Midas Touch.
It's a curse.
- That's your interpretation.
- No it's not my interpretation,
that's the fucking story, that's how it works.
- Why are you yelling at me?
- Because you're not getting it.
- Even in light of everything you've said,
I still like to think my penis has the Midas Touch.
- Then everybody you fucked would turn to gold.
If you soaked with someone, they'd turn to solid gold.
- Doesn't sound bad to me.
That person would then be dead.
- They'd know thought that I had been there.
- Oh so, you're saying the benefit of your dick
having the Midas Touch would be that the police
would know who the murderer was.
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