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Are you tired of throwing away all your laptops? Finally, there's a product to help... more »
Published August 09, 2010 510 views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Director
* Jodi Lennon
* Ramsey Ess
Writer
* Jill Morris
Editor
* Ramsey Ess
Starring
* Mary Grill
Featuring
* Ramsey Ess
* Jill Morris
* Alan Starzinski
* Johnny McNulty
* Keisha Zollar
* Nicole Byer
Producer
* Jill Morris
Special Effects
* Ramsey Ess
11 Funny Votes
5 Die Votes
512 Views
Published August 09, 2010
THE EATING GLOVE
BY: Jill Morris

Black and white montage of accidents.

PERSON 1 reaches for laptop with pizza in his hand, accidentally rubbing pizza everywhere. SFX: SPLAT.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.)
Pizza.

PERSON 2 reaches for laptop with baked beans in her hand, accidentally breaking baked beans everywhere. SFX: SPLAT.

COMMERCIAL VOICE(V.0.) (CONT’D)
Baked beans.

PERSON 3 reaches for laptop and accidentally dumps the bag of Carrot Salad everywhere. SFX: SPLAT.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (CONT’D)
Carrot salad.

Three-way split screen of Person 1, Person 2, and Person 3 throwing away their laptops.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Aren’t you tired of throwing away all your laptops?

Three-way split screen of them all nodding yes.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.)
Now Burning Moon products bring you

The Eating Glove has now magically appeared on all their hands.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
The Eating Glove!

Switch to color. “The Eating Glove” logo. SFX: FANFARE

Montage of the following:

Person 1 wearing glove, smiling & eating pizza while they click around on laptop.

Person 2 wearing glove, smiling & eating baked beans while they click around on laptop.

Person 3 wearing glove, smiling & eating carrot salad while they click around on laptop.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Now, it's virtually impossible to get confused about which hand you are supposed to be eating with and which hand you can touch your laptop with. You’ll love this glove!

Close up on a pink elbow-high glove with “The Eating
Glove”. Pan across.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
The giant pink glove feature of the glove will help you remember

Person 1 almost touching computer with glove then remembering.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
That’s your hand that’s covered in food.

SFX: POSITIVE DINGS

Hand sliding glove into purse. SCREEN TEXT appears: Purses!

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Easily fits in any purse

SFX: SLIDE WHISTLE

Hand sliding glove into satchel. SCREEN TEXT appears: Man
Satchels!

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Or man satchel.

SFX: TIM THE TOOL MAN GRUNT

PERSON 4 sits in front of TV that isn’t on with laptop, using Eating Glove while eating spaghetti.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
People who can no longer afford cable say

Photo of Liz Phair with quote.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
“It fits like a glove!”

Dorm room with COLLEGE KID. SFX: SCHOOL BELL. SCREEN TEXT appears: Dorm Life!

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And if you’re in college, The Eating Glove is perfect for those long study nights.

CLOSE UP on PERSON 5 at park. SFX: ZOOMAWAY. ZOOM OUT to see they are using eating glove while eating Cheetoes on their laptop.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And don’t be shy. It’s discreet enough to use in most public places.

Person 4 on phone. SCREEN TEXT appears: Grab that phone!

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
So, tell everyone you know you’re about to save

SFX: Cha ching! SCREENT TEXT appears: $1300!

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.)
thousands of dollars.

Black and white. Show footage of woman throwing away laptop backwards. SFX: MAGIC

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.)
Because you’ll never have to throw away another laptop again!

Person 2 wearing glove tied to chair. He reaches for laptop and realizes his mistake. SFX: POSITIVE DINGS

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And an Eating Glove that ties directly to the leg of your chair.

Black & white. Person 1 wearing giant coat, beanie and scarf while using laptop in other glove.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Other gloves distract you and make you think it’s winter.

X appears over screen. SFX: BUZZ

Cut to magazine with gloves circled.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
and can cost up to $170.

SFX: THUNDER. Screen shakes.

Eating Glove on blue background. On right side of screen
SCREEN TEXT appears: $39.95

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.)
But if you order The Eating Glove right now, you’ll pay 39.95 for a right-handed eating glove. 47.95 for a left-handed eating glove.

On left side of screen SCREEN TEXT appears: $47.95
Plain colored background. SCREEN TEXT appears: WAIT THERE’S MORE!

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
But wait

SFX: CAR SCREECH

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
there’s more!

CUT BACK TO blue background with gloves. Cross out $39.95 and replace with $45.95. Cross out $47.95 and replace with $68.93 (no ties included)

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And for $45.95* you will get 2 eating gloves and two sets of ties.

Black and white. Person 2 is wearing both gloves by their laptop, confused.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.)
Please don’t wear both at once or you may get confused.
“X” overlayed on screen. SFX: BUZZ.

GEEKY WOMAN who behaves a little like a parrot sits eating trail mix.

GEEKY WOMAN
People used to think I was a parrot because of the amount of seeds and debris on my laptop. And now, thanks to this product, it’s a lot better. Thank God.

Eating Glove ordering information screen.

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.)
The Eating Glove.

SFX: FANFARE

COMMERCIAL VOICE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
From Burning Moon Products. Giving you a
hand, by reminding you not to ruin your only laptop.

END.
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