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Im a bit confuse, I like a little harassment in my sexuals, ya know? It aint fun... more »
Published April 17, 2013 300 views More Info »
This here Loretta Jenkins
here to share with you
the most recent thing
I can remember gettin' pissed about
Let's get it on with anothe
How I Seize It, hobags!
So my faggit buddy writes me
bellyachin' cause he gettin'
bullied and sexually harassed
at this restaurant where he work at-
And that got me 'memberin'...
Before I got independently wealthy
from this trailer park
and found fame on YouTubes,
I had to do all sorts of things
to put liquor on the table.
So I'm gonna lay it all out there!
What the fuck do I care?
Statute of Limitations done expired
for all the crimes I committed, I figure.
So lemme bring out all my dirty laundry!
I sold drugs!
I sold my pussy!
I sold shit I stole!
Then I stole shit back from
the sumbitches I sold the drugs to!
I was fuckin' hardcore!
Hey, I sold my soul
to this gypsy woman
for a pack of Camels,
but the joke on her.
I don't believe in no gyppies!
Here's what you do!
Take a page outta Lo's book.
Next time them assholes
ask you to suck they dick
just say, 'Whoop it out!'
and if you ain't over eight inches
don't even bother!
'Cause I already done floss today!
I had to wait on tables just like you
before I was all glitz and glam.
I don't know if you can tell,
but I been gettin' sexually harassed
since back before I could even
shave down there!
Now that faggots is gettin' equal with
all the marriage and shit,
they ought to be able to sue
all them lazy, greasy kitchen helps
that's tryin' to harass them
in a thinly-veiled attempt to get they cock sucked.
Shit, you know what's goin' on!
Get you some straight boy dick!
Well all them kitchen sumbitches
was always makin' hoo-haas at me
and cat callin' when I walked by
which normally I welcome,
but not if you ugly!
Or a dishwasher with a five inch,
over-foreskinned Mexicock!
That was NO queso fresco, y'all!
Wash-o your enchilada, Dick-o!
And every dinner service,
they was always hootin' and hollerin'
'Show us your titties!'
And that was before I got
Donnie and Marie here.
Them chicos was like,
"Lemme just put the head in!"
So I'd had enough,
so I just told them bitches
to just drop trou, pull your pecker out,
and whoever got the biggest dick
can stick it in.
Well, them testicless sumbitches pussed out!
One time, this salad bar dude,
I walk up to him and I was like,
"Can I have a ramican of special sauce?"
And then he grabbed his crotch talkin' about,
"Hey! First why don't you take care
of MY special sauce!"
Well, I was in the weeds pretty bad,
so I get down on my knees...
and was he man enough
to follow through on the offer?
Just cause half the patrons could see!
Y'all, that's when you know the pecker little!
'Cause hungins? They ain't never shy
about whippin' out they baby arm!
Can you believe they fired me
for sexual harassment on that shit?
It's a bunch of horseshit
if you ask me!
I was scammin' customer credit cards anyway...
Who got the last laugh, bitch?
And free appetizers for life!
Not that I eat-
I trade them in for cigarettes.
I mean, come on, be serious.
Course, this was before Clarence Darrow
get his black ass in trouble
tryin' to get in the Supreme Court.
And Anita Hill was all like,
"He fondled my titty!"
And then he runned a pizza place
and then he runned for President
and THEN he hadda drop out
cause he done fondle
a bunch of other bitches' titties!
Don't fondle titties unless you ask first, Jesus!
Don't we have no more common courtesy
no more in this world?
Hey, is it sexual harassment for me to say
that I hate but I still wanna fuck
all them One Directionals?
I got five holes!
Or is it a hate crime onna counta
they probably all underage fudgepackers?
Them sumbitches is fagalicious!
What's the odds you think
one of them would be straight?
Shit, I'm kiddin' myself...
I reckon that Rachel Maddow
will stick her nose in
to let me know for sure
whether this is sexual harassment
or a hate crime!
She seem to think
that's her goddamn job or somethin'!
Is you the hall monitor?
Damn, chill out!
Lesbians is supposed to be fun!
Hey, y'all heard about this
married fucker who was allowed to fire
his secretary cause she was too sexy
and temptuous to his marriage?
WTF, what the world be comin' to?
Look, Uglies...
Us Above Average-types,
we can't help that we was blessed
with God's beauty more than you!
Don't blame that shit on us,
just cause we give you hard-ons!
Just excuse yourself,
go in on your break,
and find up on internet porn and just
(cum noises)
and then get back to work!
That's How I Seize It!
That's why they make breaks
fifteen minutes long!
You got time to rub one out,
have a cigarette...
What more do you need?
Life lesson from Lo.
Peace out, motherfuckers.