Episode 12: Zach sits down with Tila Tequila who may become his new best friend... more »

Full Credits

Starring: Zach Galifinakis, Jennifer Aniston, Tila Tequila and Brody Stephens
Director: BJ Porter
Producers: Scott Aukerman, Anna Wenger
Executive Producer: Mike Farah
Editor: Daniel Strange
Camera: Danny Jelinek, Mike Manasewitsch, Jason Whetzell
Sound: BoTown Sound
PA: Liam White
PA: Griffin Pocock


(show music plays)
Zach Galifianakis: Hello, welcome to another edition of
Between Two Ferns.
Zach Galifianakis: I'm your host, uh, I'm your host, Zach.
Zach Galifianakis: My guest today is Tila Tequila.
Welcome Tila.
Tila Tequila: Thank you.
Zach Galifianakis: You have 3.6 million friends on Myspace.
Tila Tequila: Yes.
Zach Galifianakis: Who's Darryl?
Tila Tequila: Darryl?
Zach Galifianakis: I'm just kidding along with you.
I'm just kidding.
Tila Tequila: Oh, okay.
Zach Galifianakis: Maybe you and I can be friends,
and we can hang out and stuff.
Tila Tequila: Yeah, absolutely.
Zach Galifianakis: Do you jet-ski?
Tila Tequila: Oh my gosh, I love jet-skiing!
Zach Galifianakis: It's always been my dream to jet-ski
around the world. Maybe we can do that.
Tila Tequila: Yeah, we can totally do that.
Zach Galifianakis: It's been really enlightening, and amazing
to talk to you.
Tila Tequila: Thank you.
Zach Galifianakis: Unfortunately, we have another guest.
Tila Tequila: Oh, well, I had a great time.
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah, will you stick around, though?
Tila: Yeah, absolutely. Thank you.
Zach: Okay, Cool.
Zach Galifianakis: Please welcome my next
guest, Jennifer Aniston.
- Jennifer: Hi.
- Zach: Hi.
Jennifer Aniston: How are you?
Zach Galifianakis: Hello.
Jennifer Aniston: Nice to meet you.
Zach Galifianakis: Nice to meet you.
Jennifer Aniston: Is there another?
Zach Galifianakis: Could you move that over for Tila?
Move the fern over.
Jennifer Aniston: This fern?
Tila Tequila: Yeah. would you mind?
Jennifer Aniston: No, I don't mind.
Tila Tequila: Thank you.
Jennifer Aniston: Don't mind.
Oh God. okay.
Jennifer Aniston: Oh, look, it's a chair.
Tila Tequila: Do you want to sit here?
Zach Galifianakis: Okay.
Tila Tequila: No problem.
Jennifer Aniston: Thank you. Thank you, Tila.
Zach Galifianakis: Thanks Tila.
Jennifer Aniston: Nice to meet you.
Tila Tequila: Oh, good to meet you.
Jennifer Aniston: Thank you.
Zach Galifianakis: So, welcome Jennifer.
Jennifer Aniston: Thanks. Happy to be here.
Zach Galifianakis: Tila, tell Jennifer a little bit about yourself.
Tila Tequila: Oh, well, I sing. I did reality shows.
Actually, I had my own reality show.
Jennifer Aniston: You're in a reality show?
Tila Tequila: Yeah.
Zach Galifianakis: What she would do, is she would have
a lot of people to fight over her,
to maybe get in bed with her.
Jennifer Aniston: How did that go?
Zach Galifianakis: Sound familiar, Jennifer?
Jennifer Aniston: Sorry?
Jennifer Aniston: Sorry?
Zach Galifianakis: So you're greek.
Jennifer Aniston: Mmhmm.
Zach: And, I'm greek.
Jennifer: Yeah.
Jennifer Aniston: I know.
Zach Galifianakis: You changed your last name for show business.
Jennifer Aniston: But you kept it.
You were committed to the---
Zach Galifianakis: No. my name is shortened.
Jennifer Aniston: It was?
Zach Galifianakis: It's Galifianakisburg.
What stuff do you have working on, Jenny?
Jennifer Aniston: Well, this movie that we're supposed
to talk about, which is Just Go
with It, with Adam Sandler.
Tila Tequila: I've also worked with Adam Sandler too on a film.
Zach Galifianakis: Oh really?
Tila Tequila: Yeah.
Zach Galifianakis: What's he like?
Tila Tequila: Really nice, and he's just-- right?
Isn't he really funny? Nice guy--
Jennifer Aniston: Extremely. Yeah, he's one of the nicest.
Zach Galifianakis: Did you guys hang out a lot--
Jennifer Aniston: Yeah
Zach Galifianakis: --Tila?
Tila Tequila: Yeah, absolutely. afterwards, we'd go
hit the trailer, and you know, snack on a bunch of food.
Tila Tequila: You know? He's a lot of fun.
He's a great guy.
Zach Galifianakis: That's a great story.
Tila Tequila: Yeah.
- (Jennifer sighs)
Zach Galifianakis: If you were forced to choose one state
in the us to be struck with a nuclear weapon, one state,
Zach Galifianakis: or else the entire country would be destroyed,
which state would you choose to annihilate?
Jennifer Aniston: I don't...I'm not going to do that.
Zach Galifianakis: Oh, so the whole country is going to
be destroyed by a nuclear weapon.
Jennifer Aniston: I don't think, well, that's not going to happen.
Zach Galifianakis: Tila, who would you?
(Zach and Tila): Rhode Island.
Jennifer Aniston: okay.
Zach Galifianakis: Wait. Hold on.
Zach Galifianakis: Go ahead.
Jennifer Aniston: Oh geesh.
Speed Stick Man: Speed stick. Deodorant
for your b-odorant!
Tila Tequila: That's so cute.
Zach: Tila, you've probably have had a lot of wild adventures--
Tila: oh yeah, absolutely.
Zach Galifianakis: --as far as romance is involved.
Have you ever done anything, like, in a car or anything?
Tila: Oh, the car, airplanes, and this weekend--
Jennifer: You know what--
Jennifer Aniston: I'm sorry. I don't mean to interrupt--
Zach Galifianakis: I got a blow job once on a motorcycle.
Jennifer Aniston: I'm going to let you guys finish,
because I think this is unfinished business.
Jennifer Aniston: So, why don't I come back?
I'm going to hit the green room.
Zach Galifianakis: Um, sure. we're all up for that.
Jennifer Aniston: Did you get enough questions?
Zach Galifianakis: Well, I have another question, if you don't mind.
Jennifer Aniston: Well--
Zach Galifianakis: No, it's for Tila.
Jennifer Aniston: Yeah, you know what Zach?
(the theme music to Friends
plays over Jen speaking)
Jennifer Aniston: You're fat.
(show music plays)