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Episode 12: Zach sits down with Tila Tequila who may become his new best friend and... more »
Published February 08, 2011 8.5m views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring: Zach Galifinakis, Jennifer Aniston, Tila Tequila and Brody Stephens
Director: BJ Porter
Producers: Scott Aukerman, Anna Wenger
Executive Producer: Mike Farah
Editor: Daniel Strange
Camera: Danny Jelinek, Mike Manasewitsch, Jason Whetzell
Sound: BoTown Sound
PA: Liam White
PA: Griffin Pocock

1

- HELLO, WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF
BETWEEN TWO FERNS.

2

I'M YOUR HOST, UH, I'M YOUR HOST, ZACH.

3

MY GUEST TODAY IS TILA TEQUILA.
WELCOME TILA.

4

- THANK YOU.

5

- YOU HAVE 3.6 MILLION FRIENDS ON MYSPACE.

6

- YES.

7

- WHO'S DARRYL?

8

9

- DARRYL?

10

- I'M JUST KIDDING ALONG WITH YOU.
I'M JUST KIDDING.

11

- OH, OKAY.

12

- MAYBE YOU AND I CAN BE FRIENDS,
AND HANG OUT AND STUFF.

13

- YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

14

- DO YOU JET-SKI?

15

- OH MY GOSH, I LOVE JET-SKIING!

16

- IT'S ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM TO JET-SKI
AROUND THE WORLD. MAYBE WE CAN DO THAT.

17

- YEAH, WE CAN TOTALLY DO THAT.

18

- IT'S BEEN REALLY ENLIGHTENING, AND AMAZING
TO TALK TO YOU.

19

- THANK YOU.

20

- UNFORTUNATELY, WE HAVE ANOTHER GUEST.

21

- OH, WELL, I HAD A GREAT TIME.

22

- YEAH, WILL YOU STICK AROUND, THOUGH?

23

- YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. THANK YOU.
- OKAY, COOL.

24

- PLEASE WELCOME MY NEXT
GUEST, JENNIFER ANISTON.

25

26

- HI.

27

- HI.

28

- HOW ARE YOU?

29

- HELLO.

30

- NICE TO MEET YOU.

31

- NICE TO MEET YOU.

32

33

- IS THERE ANOTHER?

34

- COULD YOU MOVE THAT OVER FOR TILA?
MOVE THE FERN OVER.

35

36

- THIS FERN?

37

- YEAH. WOULD YOU MIND?

38

- NO, I DON'T MIND.

39

- THANK YOU.

40

- DON'T MIND.
OH GOD. OKAY.

41

OH, LOOK, IT'S A CHAIR.

42

43

- DO YOU WANT TO SIT HERE?

44

- OKAY.

45

- NO PROBLEM.

46

- THANK YOU. THANK YOU, TILA.

47

- THANKS TILA.

48

- NICE TO MEET YOU.

49

- OH, GOOD TO MEET YOU.

50

- THANK YOU.

51

52

- SO, WELCOME JENNIFER.

53

- THANKS. HAPPY TO BE HERE.

54

- TILA, TELL JENNIFER A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.

55

- OH, WELL, I SING. I DID REALITY SHOWS.
ACTUALLY, I HAD MY OWN REALITY SHOW.

56

- YOU'RE IN A REALITY SHOW?

57

- YEAH.

58

- WHAT SHE WOULD DO, IS SHE WOULD HAVE
A LOT OF PEOPLE TO FIGHT OVER HER,
TO MAYBE GET IN BED WITH HER.

59

60

- HOW DID THAT GO?

61

- SOUND FAMILIAR, JENNIFER?

62

- SORRY?

63

64

- SORRY?

65

- SO YOU'RE GREEK.

66

- MM-HMM.

67

- AND, I'M GREEK.
- YEAH.

68

- I KNOW.

69

- YOU CHANGED YOUR LAST NAME FOR SHOW BUSINESS.

70

- BUT YOU KEPT IT.
YOU WERE COMMITTED TO THE---

71

- NO. MY NAME IS SHORTENED.

72

- IT WAS?

73

- IT'S GALIFIANAKISBURG.
WHAT STUFF DO YOU HAVE WORKING ON, JENNY?

74

- WELL, THIS MOVIE THAT WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO TALK ABOUT, WHICH IS JUST GO
WITH IT, WITH ADAM SANDLER.

75

- I'VE ALSO WORKED WITH ADAM SANDLER TOO ON A FILM.

76

- OH REALLY?

77

- YEAH.

78

- WHAT'S HE LIKE?

79

- REALLY NICE, AND HE'S JUST-- RIGHT?
ISN'T HE REALLY FUNNY? NICE GUY--

80

- EXTREMELY-- YEAH, HE'S ONE OF THE NICEST.

81

- DID YOU GUYS HANG OUT A LOT?

82

- YES.

83

- TILA?

84

- YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. AFTERWARDS, WE'D GO
HIT THE TRAILER, AND YOU KNOW, SNACK ON A BUNCH OF FOOD.

85

- [ laughs ]

86

- YOU KNOW? HE'S A LOT OF FUN.
HE'S A GREAT GUY.

87

- THAT'S A GREAT STORY.

88

- YEAH.

89

- [ Jennifer sighs ]

90

91

IF YOU WERE FORCED TO CHOOSE ONE STATE
IN THE US TO BE STRUCK WITH A NUCLEAR WEAPON, ONE STATE,

92

OR ELSE THE ENTIRE COUNTRY WOULD BE DESTROYED,
WHICH STATE WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ANNIHILATE?

93

- I DON'T-- I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT.

94

- OH, SO THE WHOLE COUNTRY IS GOING TO
BE DESTROYED BY A NUCLEAR WEAPON.

95

- I DON'T THINK, WELL, THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

96

- TILA, WHO WOULD YOU?

97

- [SIMULTANEOUSLY]: RHODE ISLAND.

98

- OKAY.

99

- WAIT. HOLD ON.

100

101

- GO AHEAD.

102

103

- OH GEESH.

104

- [SPEED STICK MAN]: SPEED STICK. DEODORANT
FOR YOUR B-ODORANT!

105

106

- THAT'S SO CUTE.

107

108

- TILA, YOU'VE PROBABLY HAVE HAD A LOT OF WILD ADVENTURES--
- OH YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

109

--AS FAR AS ROMANCE IS INVOLVED.
HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANYTHING, LIKE, IN A CAR OR ANYTHING?

110

- OH, THE CAR, AIRPLANES, AND THIS WEEKEND--
- YOU KNOW WHAT--

111

I'M SORRY. I DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT--

112

- I GOT A BLOW JOB ONCE ON A MOTORCYCLE.

113

- I'M GOING TO LET YOU GUYS FINISH,
BECAUSE I THINK THIS IS UNFINISHED BUSINESS.

114

SO, WHY DON'T I COME BACK?
I'M GOING TO HIT THE GREEN ROOM.

115

- UM, SURE. WE'RE ALL UP FOR THAT.

116

- DID YOU GET ENOUGH QUESTIONS?

117

- WELL, I HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

118

- WELL--

119

- NO, IT'S FOR TILA.

120

- YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT ZACH?

121

122

- [ theme to Friends plays ]
- [ inaudible conversation ]

123

- YOU'RE FAT.

124

AUTOPLAY
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