Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile

Uploader

Lindsay Lohan

Director

Eric Appel

Cinematographer

christiansprenger

Make Up Artist

Shauna O'Toole

Executive Producer

Funny Or Die

Additional Credits [+]

Old embed code (only works with browsers that support Adobe Flash)

Lindsay Lohan: Hi. My name is Lindsay and I'm searching for love.



The eHarmony theme music can be heard in the background.



Lindsay Lohan: I'm recently single, (pause) I think, and I'm looking
for someone who I can spend the rest of my life with. Or, at least the
rest of my probation with. Ha ha. A little bit about me. I'm an
actress, a singer, an entrepreneur and I single handedly kept ninety
percent of all gossip websites in business. I would define my
personality as, uh, creative. I'm a bit of night owl. I'm a workaholic,
a shopaholic, and-



Lindsay Lohan drinks an unidentified liquid from a plastic bottle



Lindsay Lohan: -according to the state of California, an alcoholic, as
well as a threat to all security guards if they work at hotels. And to
put all those rumors to rest, I am not broke. I actually have over fou
hundred dollars in the bank and twenty thousand Marlboro Milds, which
I'm very proud of.



Lindsay Lohan is seen texting.



Lindsay Lohan: I'm looking for a compatible mate who likes a night out
on the town, as long as he or she is driving, of course. Likes ankle
monitoring bracelets and doesn't have family members quick to issue
restraining orders. The perfect mate loves long walks on the beach, ca
chases on the PCH, antiquing, and uh passing out in Cadillac Escalades.
So, if you think you can handle a redhead with a little bit of sass-



Lindsay Lohan is seen playing with a football. She throws the football and the sound of glass breaking is heard.



Lindsay Lohan: -and by that I mean a redhead that's crazy. I mean,
don't pretend like you don't know me. We've all read about it. We'll
crash a few parties, a car or two, but at the end of the day, I promise
you I never lose my Google hits, just my underwear. You can reach me at
612679 or-



Lindsay Lohan is seen reading an issue of US weekly with her picture on the cover.



Lindsay Lohan: -you can find me on the cover of US Weekly, because I'm so alone.



The shot cuts back to the static profile shot that reads eHarmony Video Personals LINDSAY # 612679.