The Uncler w/ Uncle Sam and Alyssa Milano

Uploader

Funny Or Die

Actor

Alyssa Milano

Actor

Seth Morris

Director

Jake Szymanski

Cinematographer

christiansprenger

Make Up Artist

Shauna O'Toole

Additional Credits >

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The shot opens with the standard green screen with white text movie preview notice. The shot cuts to mock up of the Fox Pictures logo that says FOD EXCLUSIVE PICTURES. There is the sound of clapping and mild cheering. The shot cuts to a black screen with the following text at the bottom of the screen. “U.S. IN BIGGEST ECONOMIC DECLINE SINCE 1946” TIMOTHY HOMAN - BLOOMBERG. A person dressing in clothing bearing red, white and blue appears on the screen. The following text appears. “ECONOMIC CRISIS IS OUT OF CONTROL. EVEN MORE SPENDING IS NEEDED.” PAUL CRUGMAN – NEW YORK TIMES. The person is revealed to be dressing as the iconic figure Uncle Sam. He is seen walking down a brick hallway. The following text appears. WITNESS THE RESURRECTION OF UNCLE SAM. Seth Morris, dressed as Uncle Sam, bursts out onto a stage, waving a flag, and is met with an explosion of cheering. Seth Morris is seen meeting and greeting average Americans and wishing them well. The shot cuts to Seth Morris sitting in a chair and talking to Josh Simpson.

Seth Morris: You looked good out there. You really brought the vote.

Josh Simpson: Aww, thank you man. Thanks.

Seth Morris: You hang in there. You’ve got a lot of ability.

The shot cuts to a black screen with white text that reads – FROM THE ACCLAIMED SUPERPOWER THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. The shot then cuts to a montage of Seth Morris walking through run down neighborhoods and drinking. Bruce Springsteen’s song, The Wrestler, can be heard in the background. The shot cuts to Seth Morris standing in a stairwell speaking to someone off camera.

Seth Morris: I’m looking to get a little more work.

The shot cuts to Ryan Perez.

Ryan Perez: Everybody’s looking for more work.

The shot cuts to Seth Morris sitting in a vehicle looking frustrated. The shot then cuts to Alyssa Milano, dressed as Lady Liberty, working as a stripper. The shot cuts to Seth Morris talking to Alyssa Milano on the street.

Seth Morris: Have a beer with me.

Alyssa Milano: Ha, ha.

Seth Morris: One beer?

The shot cuts to Seth Morris and Alyssa Milano sitting in a vehicle talking.

Alyssa Milano: Don’t you have a daughter?

Seth Morris: My daughter. She don’t like me too much.

Alyssa Milano: You should call her.

The shot cuts to a black screen with the following text. “UNEMPLOYMENT AT 7.6% AND RISING. WORST SINCE 1992.” FARAH STOCKMAN – BOSTON GLOBE.

Shot cuts to Zoe Jarman.

Zoe Jarman (to Seth Morris): What do you want from me?

Shot cuts to Seth Morris climbing out of wrestling ring.

Seth Morris (voiceover): I’m just a broken down piece of meat.

Shot cuts to Seth Morris talking to Zoe Jarman.

Seth Morris: I don’t expect you to love me. I just don’t want you to hate me.

A tear runs down Seth Morris’s face. The shot cuts to a black screen with the following text. “CONSUMER CONFIDENCE LOWEST IN 25 YEARS” RASSMUSSEN – INDEX. The shot cuts to Seth Morris talking to Josh Simpson.

Josh Simpson: Two words. Stimulus package.

Seth Morris: Bring it!

Shot cuts to a black screen with the following text. “RECOVERY BILL IS LARGEST CHANGE IN DOMESTIC POLICY SINCE 1930’S” DAVID OBEY – D-WISC.

Seth Morris (voiceover): Little luck, we can turn this economy around.

Shot cuts to Seth Morris sitting in a chair, facing a wall, with his head in his hands.

Shot cuts to Seth Morris and Alyssa Milano talking in a bar.

Alyssa Milano: 90’s man, best ever!

Seth Morris: Balanced the budget.

Alyssa Milano: Internet boom.

Seth Morris: Then Bush had to come in and ruin it all.

Alyssa Milano: Ha! The 2000 suck!

Seth Morris: The 2000 suck!

The shot cuts to Seth Morris getting out of the back of a van and being assaulted. It then cuts to a shot of him shaving his armpit. The shot cuts to the words UNCLE SAM on a black screen. The shot then cuts to Seth Morris having a cut tended on his head. The shot cuts to the words Lady Liberty on a black screen. The shot cuts to Alyssa Milano in a bar. The shot cuts to the words THE MIDDLE CLASS on a black screen. The shot cuts to Zoe Jarman and Seth Morris looking at one another. The shot then cuts to Seth Morris looking into a mirror and putting his hand over his heart. The shot then cuts to Seth Morris and Alyssa Milano talking.

Seth Morris: The only place I get hurt is out there.

Alyssa Milano: I’m really here.

There is a montage of shots with Seth Morris, Alyssa Milano, and Zoe Jarman.

The shot cuts to Seth Morris standing in front of an American flag with a microphone.

Seth Morris: You know, in this life you can lose everything you loved and everything that loved you. There was a lot of people who told me that America wouldn’t be number one forever…

There is another montage of short clips involving Seth Morris.

Seth Morris: …but the only ones who are going to tell me when America’s done doing its thing, are you people out there.

There is thunderous cheering over a final montage of images of Seth Morris. The shot cuts to black with the words THE UNCLER in white. The shot cuts to Seth Morris in a Grocery Mart talking to California Grocery Mart Guy.

Seth Morris: Check this out.

Seth Morris puts on his hat.

Seth Morris: You like it. (California Grocery Mart Guy nods affirmatively) All right, you try. You try it. Here we go.

Seth Morris puts the hat on California Grocery Mart Guy.

Seth Morris: Ah, ah, all right!

California Grocery Mart Guy smiles, takes off the hat, and puts it on the counter. The shot cuts to credits that read as follows. STARRING SETH MORRIS, ZOE JARMAN AND ALYSSA MILANO, DIRECTED BY JAKE SZYMANSKI