The Long Haired Businessmen call all hands on deck on a conference call to circle the wagons in preparation for a big meeting.
- October 11, 2017
- 280k Views
Starring - Ben Wietmarschen, George Kareman, Pat O'Brien
Featuring - Jason Chang, Daryll Agustin, Matthew Suwell, Chase Baker, Gino Galento, Del Zamora
Written & Directed by - Ben Wietmarchen, George Kareman, Pat O'Brien
Director of Photography - Matt Sweeney
Camera Operator - William Christensen
Camera Operator - Ryan Bender
Gaffer - Eddy Scully
Key Grip Jo Gutierrez
Hair and Makeup Artist - Jessica Leigh Schwartz
Sound Mixer - Alex Dawson
Production Coordinator - Yoli Poropat
Producer - Sean Boyle
Set PA - Elle Eckley
Intern Chloe MacKenzie-Lee
Editor - Tom Levin
October 11, 2017
- Here we go.
- [Seth] Val?
- [Val] Hello?
- [Kevin] Hey, Val.
- [Val] Hey.
- Hey, Val.
What's up, Val.
- We, as you know, we got the big meeting coming up,
and we just wanted to circle the wagons.
Make sure we're all on the same page.
- Yeah, we wanted to talk turkey,
and that turkey is Torrence.
Mainly the Torrence group, and they, as you know
more than anybody, they are a real bear.
A real den of bears.
So we just wanna circle the wagons and kinda get
on the, get everyone looped in.
- You know this is where we really make our hay
is this Torrence group.
Everything else has been minor leagues.
We are in the major leagues now folks.
- Have we had a dialog about getting
our ducks in a row here or...
- We haven't had a chance to get that dialog
sort of underway, so we kind of wanted to draw,
today use this meeting as a chance to sort of draw
a roadmap toward that dialog and just sort of
figure out what that dialog might look like
or even sound like.
- And Dale's sort of our representative from Calvin's team.
He's kind of working in tandem with us on this.
So Dale, I don't know if Calvin gave any sort of
heads up on, you know, how to get ducks in a row
for Torrence, but if you, you know,
anything on that.
- Well, basically, he told me that he
considers this his swan song.
- [Kevin] Okay.
- So we can get our ducks lined up.
He's gonna leave.
- So Calvin might be (overlapping talk).
And I think with Torrence, we're gonna be kind of
breadcrumbing this situation.
It's gonna be a Hansel and Gretel type thing.
We don't want them to know that they're eating
the sweet candy, but we wanna get them a taste for it.
Just so that the next thing you know,
they're in the cabin and, you know,
we're feeding them sweet treats.
But we gotta kinda coax them.
- [Val] You know, you gotta punch the puppy here.
You can't be precious about this,
and that's why we're gonna show 'em
we can think outside the box, and you know,
get them, you know, move the goal post a little.
- That's a good point.
When we're talking resources, let's make sure
we're saying lean and mean.
We don't need any extra resources.
Let's not put any expenses on the books
that aren't absolutely necessary.
- You know, speaking of keeping it lean
and keeping it linear, I think keeping it linear
is key, and I did wanna throw the ball,
I know you're new.
I forgot your name down there.
- [Seth] Bradley.
- You can't be doing that with Tor.
Seth, we can't be doing that.
We gotta know names.
- If they smell blood in the water,
these guys are gonna pounce.
These sharks are.
- [Val] And Bradley is, you know, Bradley's crucial.
He is a stakeholder here.
So, you know, that's just eating your own dog food.
Of course, of course.
- Know names.
We can't stress it enough.
- Maybe a high sign that we could use
to indicate, "Okay, you got my name wrong.
"Try a different name."
- What if we come in with name tags,
and thereby sort of throw out the signal to them,
"Hey, we're making our names easy for you.
"What are you gonna do for us?"
- [Val] What are you gonna do for us?
I love that.
Put the record on.
- We could do dry erase name tags.
- It might be good for...
It might be, for Torrence, it might be,
I know it's a holiday weekend, guys,
but if you could learn just some
basic American Sign Language,
just so we can kind of sign to each other.
If there's an important name of a senior team leader
on their end, it might be good
to just kinda have the basics.
- Now do you have any experience with Graham
over in Torrence because he-
- [Val] With Graham?
And I'll tell you the secret with Graham.
You gotta drill down.
'Cause Graham, he's about the brick and mortar.
He's about best practices.
And he's about B-to-B.
- He is sort of queen of the pigs over there.
He is down in the slop, and the other pigs
sort of fall in line.
When he goes to the trough, then and only then
do the other pigs get their meal.
- He will get first dibs on the slop.
The others will take his seconds.
- Yeah, he is a nasty queen and you gotta watch out for him.
Oh, I didn't say it.
Yeah, if you've ever taken a meeting with him
at the Golden Corral, you know exactly
what we're talking about.
- [Val] Sorry, guys, Janice has come.
She's at my door.
- [Val] What's that?
She wants to know, Jason,
you coming to sales conference this year?
- I just saw Jason's eyes light up when you mentioned
the name Janice.
- You ever see the old wolf in the old cartoons
where his eyes pop out?
- Remember those cartoons where the car is like a person,
the headlights are the eyes, and they make a A-ooh-ga
with the horn?
That's basically Jason right now.
- [Val] That's the same thing.
I'll tell ya, I haven't seen a smile on Janice's face
that big since she came back from one of those,
she did a bodybuilding conference at the conference center
right by the mall where the 305 and the seven meet.
Yeah, she did one out there right next to,
there's an O'Charley's there.
And she did it right next to that.
- Yeah, we've had many of after work libations.
- Shall we say, my liege.
- [Val] Many after work drink.
- Or three.
- Yeah, I had one or two or three too many there
a couple nights ago.
They had to peel me off the curb.
- Tea too many mar-too-nies por favor.
- When I get to the bar, I generally go way hard.
- I got HAM when I get to that bar
as you guys know about.
- That's the only way I do business
is you know go hard or go home.
I take that to the bar.
I take that to the board room,
and I think we've built a team that reflects that principle.
- [Gino] Yes, absolutely.
- We want to bring up Bradley.
We brought you on because you are a
a whiz with the new computers,
and I've been having all sorts of issues with mine.
We need to be-
- [Seth] Is Tolliver on that?
- We need to be-
- [Seth] No, let me speak to Tolliver.
- [Seth] I wanna know if Tolliver's on that
because I gave that to Tolliver.
Let me speak to Tolliver.
- [Val] I'm sorry I'm hearing something in the background?
- No, that's Seth.
- [Val] Yeah it's pretty loud in the...
- Let's just soldier forward.
- [Val] Sure.
- Let me take this one.
I'll take the bull here by the horns.
Bradley, you're just gonna need to
get on all our computers and update it.
- [Bradley] I'm working on it.
- [Bradley] Try and get done with that.
And also the shared drives.
It'll be up and running in the soonest time possible.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, that's a great point.
You gotta share the drives, okay?
We only have so many to go around.
I know everyone would like their own drive,
but let's try and really share these hard drives, okay?
- [Val] And where are we, Elijah, on the dog and pony show?
- Val, I don't wanna interrupt you right now.
The momentum is moving forward,
but just an update real quick.
I just spoke to Tolliver from the Toledo office.
- [Val] Okay.
- Who Jason was the point man, or supposedly
the point man for.
They might want to push the meeting back.
Jason, do you have anything to say about that?
- Well, they have to honor their word.
Where they say they are supposed to meet us
in a couple of days now.
- [Kevin] So you're saying we had
a handshake agreement with them,
and now they're reneging on that.
- Just to jump in, these guys are snakes,
and you never take a handshake from a snake
because they don't have hands, so you're gonna get bit.
And I think we just got bit, and the venom's
starting to sink.
Either I'm crazy or the venom's starting to sink.
- This is a problem.
This is a big problem, gang.
- You know we're-
- [Val] I think we're gonna just have to figure out
where the onus is on here and in our process review
who we can finger and say this, you know,
this is where the quality control ran off the rails.
- And I think that's a great instinct, Val.
I'm just gonna go ahead and say, I think it's Jason's fault.
- Yeah, Jason really dropped the ball on this.
And Val, we want to let you know how we are
very serious about the Torrence group deal.
It means more to us than anything,
including our own families.
- [Val] What I'm seeing here is that Seth is the team leader
who's on point with Tolliver.
So Seth is managing Jason.
So I'm a little confused here as to, you know,
in terms of who's skillset is being deployed in which way.
- [Kyle] Val, I couldn't agree more.
- [Val] Is this a management problem or a personnel problem?
- Just to jump in, Jason is a great guy,
and I respect the hell out of him.
- I don't wanna step on the duck here,
but I also wanted to get in and say Jason's been great
when I've dealt with him, but this is
a horse of a different color
in terms of what I've seen from Jason, Val.
I haven't seen this before.
- And Val, you know that I honor you
and that I respect every word that comes out of your mouth.
I fall on the sword before for you and for this company,
and I will do it again.
But with your blessing, I would like to put this on Jason.
- Val, I just wanna jump in and say
I'll defer to you.
Whoever you want to put it on, I'll help
carry that out.
- Well, I'd like some headlights on this.
Jason, let's break through the clutter
and figure out what's going on here.
- I guess I made a big mistake,
and I should be responsible for it.
So I'm just gonna have to say
I would love to resign right now.
- I think we can respect that decision, Jason.
- And Jason before you head out,
we are gonna need you to kind of, this Torrence meeting
is still pending, so we are kind of dot the Ts
and cross the, sign the checks.
So we are gonna need you to kind of finish up some work.
We know it's a holiday weekend.
We'd love for you to kind of stick it through,
and then take the rest of the week
and really the rest of your life off.
- We have key cards, temporary key cards
that you can exchange for your permanent key card.
- Yeah, we're gonna need the plastic one back.
We'll give you a paper one.
It's sort of a single ride, single swipe.
- And we'll put your name down to security
and they'll know that you can come up until
the Torrence group deal is done.
But after that you won't be able, permitted
to get into the building again.
- I'd also encourage you, once you have officially
been let go, don't, do not attempt to contact anyone.
This office or Val's office, that includes Janice.
- And just to reiterate that point,
if you are not all hands on deck,
percent on board with our mission
when it comes to Torrence,
hit the showers.
And I'm looking at you, Jason.
- Yup, there's the doorway to the showers.
- [Val] I think Jason is really,
I mean, he's gonna be the one
having face time.
- Jason's gonna be an asset here.
- You are the logistics man,
and I hate to lose you.
- That's a great point.
Just to loop in, just to double back
on what Gino just said.
Jason's a smooth talker.
- He knows to go around and how to make sense of it.
So I'm just...
- So Jason, we'd like to offer your job back.
- [Val] That resignation was putting us
between a rock and a hard place.
I'll say it now, but we've sort of been through the fire
on that one.
- Hey, Val, just wanted to let you know
that Seth did shake Jason's hand.
And I know, there are, this has been like
a simmering bad blood happening throughout this call.
And Seth was the bigger man, and he did shake Jason's hand.
So I just want to let you know.
- [Val] Well, that's why.
Look, the intellectual capital we have in that room,
I would say is what is going to keep us in the loop,
make us able to implement.
I just wanna say the number one things is do not
let the grass grow too long on Torrence.
- Everyone, I just want everyone to kinda
actually say that back to us if you could.
- On three.
- [Both] One, two, three.
- [All] Do not let the grass grow too long on Torrence.
- The last part is key.
- Close it and hose it.
- [Val] Close it and hose it.
- That's great.
I know that, what am I gonna be bringing to the table?
I'm gonna be bringing the relationships I have, okay.
So they know that I know that they know
that I'm a relationships guy.
That's what Seth does.
Bradley, what's something that you think
you're gonna bring to the table
that no one else on our team can bring?
- I'm gonna make sure that all the
means of communication are gonna be up and running.
And I'm gonna be issuing key file for everyone.
Virtual token, so everyone is gonna be able to work
even outside the office.
- Love that.
- Man, that's great.
That's great forward thinking from you.
Thanks a lot.
And Elijah what is it that you were gonna bring
to the table?
- The competitive advantages that I bring to the table
are top tier.
- [Kevin] Top tier.
- Top tier competitive advantage.
All the way.
- I've seen you on the.
In the room and at the bar,
you know how to get the job done.
- And on the links.
Let's not forget on the links.
- I don't know if you know, but we actually
promoted Elijah recently from tier two to tier three
team leader, so he is now a T three.
- [Kevin] He's reached T three.
- [Val] Janice is cheering.
You can't hear her, but she's cheering.
- Tell her I said what's up.
Tell her I said what's up.
- Uh oh.
- [Val] Jason, Janice is now, she's pressed a note
to my glass door 'cause she knows not to interrupt me
when I'm on the phone.
I'll bite her head off.
But she is saying tell Jason to please call me.
- [Kevin] Looks like we closed at least one deal
during this meeting.
- Close it and hose it.
- [Val] That deal is closed.
- Well, Val, I tell you what.
I think we're all feeling aces right now.
We're hoping that we don't get the two of hearts
when it comes down to it.
So Val, we'll keep in touch with any new deliverables.
We'll circle back before the meeting happens.
- [Val] There'll be a mind share here.
We'll do a quick B-storm, and then, you know
we'll head out to meeting and we'll see what happens.
Guys, I don't know how else to say it.
- [Val] Great.
Okay well I'm gonna hop off because you know
the clock has ticked right over.
- The cabin awaits.
- [Val] Yeah, exactly.
The cabin awaits, and let me tell you
there's a nice cold one or two.
- How about three?
How about three, Val?
- I tell you does anything move slower
than that minute hand on the way to the cabin?
- [Val] I'll tell you this.
These days I'm having as many coffees
as I have during the day, let's just say I'm matching that
with my evening beverages.
- That's only fair, one to one ratio.
- Not once, not twice, but thrice.
- So nice, you do it thrice.
- [Val] It's the only way I can fall asleep.
Well, good talking with you all,
and we'll loop back and we'll touch base.
- Yeah, we'll circle back.
- [Val] All of you individually.
- We'll be in touch, and we'll kind of
circle the wagons and...
- We'll be back in touch, Val.
We'll circle back.
Have a good time there.
Have a good time.
- [Val] Have a great time at the cabin.
Remember real time updates as we.
- Of course.
- It's gonna be Real Time with Bill Maher up there.
What happens at the cabin, stays in Vegas.
- Get jiggy with it.
- All right, Val, we'll see you later.
It was great talking to you.
- [Val] Good talking.
And push the envelope and we'll talk.
And just again, yeah, keep it, you know.
We'll keep it in mind.
- Sounds great.
- We're gonna kind of unbundle
and do a postmortem here, Val.
We'll circle back with you after that.
- [Val] I think I actually am going to hop off
and I'm gonna hop off.
- And just kinda debrief the situation over here
and we'll give you the 411.
- [Val] Great.
And yeah, and that's great 'cause I,
yeah, and I'm gonna hop off and sort of pow wow
with my folks here.
- That sounds great, Val.
- [Val] Bye.
- All right, thanks Val.
- All right, Val.
As you guys can tell, she's pissed.
So we got a lot of work to do.
We got our work cut out for us.
And it's definitely gonna be a work over the long weekend
situation, I'm afraid.
- So get back to your desks.
Let's pound the pavement.
And we'll see you back here.
We'll loop you back into communication
when we need you again.
- We'll circle back with you guys.
Thanks a lot.
Thank you for your time.
- We'll set it straight.
We'll set the ship.
We'll right this ship.
We gotta do a postmortem here because.
- Thanks guys.
- Thanks guy.
- Thank you guys.
- Yeah, thank you guys.
- Thank you.
- Just go ahead and close the door.
- Good job.
Close the door behind you.
- Yeah, thanks a lot.
- All right.
- Take care Dale.
- Yeah, if you could close the door.
- Close it up.
I think Dale is actually one of the huge problems
that we're gonna be facing.
- He's one of many we've gotta work on.
- I don't trust any of these guys.
- Yeah, when I was in their shoes, I had a size 13.
They're size nine tops.
- In women's.
- Not in men's.
I mean, nine men's, there's nothing wrong with that.
That's probably national average.
- You wear nine men's?
- I don't know.
I'll have to get back to you on that,
but there abouts.
Nine to ten.
Sometimes 11 for...
Sneakers are anyone's guess.