In the first installment of Yelling Man, The Yelling Man sticks it to the Ohio... more »

Transcript

Hey, welcome to Yelling man
with Matt Kleiman.
I'm Matt Kleiman the yelling
man, and I've
got something to yell
at you about.
(music)
They fucking just voted
not to legalize weed
in Ohio, and you know what?
I'm glad which is fucking nuts.
Because you know me man,
I'm all about people being
able to do whatever the
fuck they want to their bodies.
That's why I got these
stress reduction leaches
to suck the stress out of me.
So how did they blow
legalization so fucking bad?
I'll show you how.
These fucking narcs were
the guys in charge of it.
That's right. This Ian James
and James Gould,
and these James ass narcs,
they made it so that it was
written in stone in the
law that the only people
who could make money off
the weed was them, and
their fucking narc friends.
How fucked is that?
Fuck man!
How do you fucking put
narcs like this in charge of pot?
Weed's for chillers
like me!
This guy, this fucker right here
James Gould, this
greedy piece of shit has
been narcing for decades.
In the 1980s he co-founded
the United States
Football League with
emperor narc himself Donald Trump.
If you're sucking on
Trump's dick, I know you're
a fucking narc.
And you know what else these
fuckers did?
They came up with this
fucking freak.
Oh, that guy is me.
This fucking freak,
Buddie.
They fucking wanted to
pander to the fucking
Ohio young people by
being in on it, and
making this putrid Ronald
McDonald fuck.
Fuck you Buddie.
We're already got a weed
positive cartoon mascot.
The names Willie Nelson,
and fucking rules.
We gotta make sure no narcs
are anywhere close to
our legalization initiatives
in this country.
You know how we do it?
It's fucking easy.
What you do is you make a
law where if you're going
sell weed, you got to be
high on weed, because
it's a physical impossibility
to both be a narc,
and be high on pot.
We're making some fucking slide and scale alright.
So the number of employees
that your company has
that's how many hits everyone
has to take in the
morning, before they start
work.
So yeah, you can have your
fucking weed Walmart
as long as your CEO is
willing to take a 1000
bong rips in a car before
going to the office every morning.
How serious am I about this shit?
I'll fucking show you how
serious I am.
Lets show you how it's
fucking done right now.
(coughs)
So I'm going to be a
little bit worse at my
job, but you know for a
fact I'm not a narc.
Here you go.
Narcs suck.
(stammers) And we can't let
them near something so important.
The criminal justice
system right?
So weed...
Man, narcs just make me like
so sad dude.
(music)
(Funny or Die News theme)
Willie Nelson: Stress is the biggest
killer we've got.
Willie Nelson: So if you can relax, you'll be healthier.

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