The Ballad of G.I. Joe

Uploader

Cha-Ching Pictures

Actor

Olivia Wilde

Actor

Zach Galifianakis

Actor

Alexis Bledel

Actor

Billy Crudup

Actor

Julianne Moore

Uploader

Funny Or Die

Actor

Chuck Liddell

Actor

Sgt Slaughter

Actor

Tony Hale

Actor

Laz Alonso

Actor

Joey Kern

Actor

Henry Rollins

Actor

Alan Tudyk

Actor

Vinnie Jones

Producer

Josh Simpson

Make Up Artist

Kat Bardot

Additional Credits [+]

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WEBVTT 00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.000 [Music Playing] 00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:20.000 <v Kevin Umbricht & Geoff Mann> Two forces waging endless war. Every day they waste more. But when the day is done, and they go home, what do they do for fun? 00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:37.000 <v Kevin Umbricht> Night falls on G.I. Joe headquarters. Shipwreck just got season one of The Wonder Years. Doc is reading Dostoyevsky, and Snow Job's drinkin' beer. 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:44.000 <v Geoff Mann> I heard he likes to drink quite a bit. 00:00:45.000 --> 00:01:03.000 <v Kevin Umbricht> Snake Eyes is painting landscapes. It makes him feel at peace. His latest is a series of sunsets on the beach. 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:33.000 <v Kevin Umbricht & Geoff Mann> And Scarlett lies awake and wonders 'will Duke still love me when I'm old? I see the way he looks at Lady Jaye. Some day he's gonna leave me in the cold.' 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:35.000 <v Geoff Mann> No, Duke, don't go. 00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:45.000 <v Kevin Umbricht> Night falls on the Cobra Terror Drome. Storm Shadow's takin' out the trash. 00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:54.000 <v Kevin Umbricht> Tomax is boosting Xamot's wallet, he needs the extra cash. 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:09.000 <v Kevin Umbricht> Cobra Commander loves seventies boogie. And he's a big fan of Three Dog Night. 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:11.000 <v Geoff Mann & Kevin Umbricht> One is the loneliest number. 00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:18.000 <v Kevin Umbricht> And when he takes over the world, the first thing he'll do is make 'em reunite. 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:33.000 <v Kevin Umbricht & Geoff Mann> And Zartan sits up late and wonders 'I wonder, wonder who, who is the real me?' 00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:35.000 <v Geoff Mann> Oh, oh, oh oh. 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:47.000 <v Kevin Umbricht & Geoff Mann> 'And in the end, do I really have any friends? Who love me for being Zartan, who love me for being me. 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:48.000 <v Kevin Umbricht> Destro! 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:49.000 <v Geoff Mann> Destro! 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:58.000 <v Kevin Umbricht & Geoff Mann> Destro and the Baroness! Destro and the Baroness are practicing the clarinet. Destro and the Baroness are practicing the clarinet. Practicing the clarinet. They're practicing the clarinet! 00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:15.000 [Clarinet Playing] 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:36.000 <v Kevin Umbricht> Doctor Mindbender is talking on his HAM radio. His best friend is some guy he doesn't even know. If things could always be this way, wouldn't that be nice? But no dice. 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:39.000 <v Geoff Mann> No dice, no dice. 00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:44.000 <v Kevin Umbricht> Cobra's got the mass device. 00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:50.000 [Music Playing]