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Finally a season of The Bachelor featuring people of color. It's doesn't last very long, though.
Published March 02, 2014 76k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Writer: Eliza Skinner
Director/Editor: Pat Bishop
Producer: Better Bentley
Producer: Jay Ellis
Starring: Terrell Owens, Jay Ellis, Tatyana Ali, Joyful Drake, and Miranda Mayo
Featuring: Coby Bell and Tanisha Lynn
DP: Mike Karnell
AC: Casey Donahue
2nd Camera Op: Justin Westfall
G&E: Joel Stout
G&E: Rob Streeper
Gaffer: Ian Thomas
Production Design: Tricia Robertson
Sound: Ben Forman
PA: Cole McFarlane
Hair & Makeup: Jenn Osborne and Leigh Schwartz
2,013 Funny Votes
290 Die Votes
76,124 Views
Published March 02, 2014

1

- WELCOME TO YOUR ROSE CEREMONY LADIES.
IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE A ROSE TONIGHT,

2

THEN YOU IMMEDIATELY RETURN HOME.

3

I WISH YOU ALL GOOD LUCK, AND REMEMBER
EACH OF YOU DESERVE LOVE.

4

HERE'S JAY.

5

6

- MY BUTTERFLIES. ALL OF YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.

7

8

THIS IS HARD. I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS TO BE
SO DIFFICULT.

9

10

CHRISTIE.

11

I HAVE A ROSE FOR YOU.

12

13

- I DON'T WANT YOUR TIRED ROSE.

14

- [gasps] WHAT?

15

- I JUST SAW YOU KISSING ON LIKE FIVE GIRLS,
BEFORE YOU CAME IN HERE:

16

17

CHELSEA, GERALDINE, CRYSTAL, LUCY, AND LISA.

18

- YEAH BUT, HE'S MY BOYFRIEND.

19

- [all girls] WHAT? NO.

20

- GIRL, THAT IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND.
LOOK AT HIM, HE IS WEARING BODY MAKEUP.

21

- LADIES, LADIES, C'MON.
I MEAN THAT'S HOW THE SHOW WORKS.

22

- NO, THAT'S NOT HOW I WORK.

23

- THIS WHOLE SHOW IS STUPID.
WHY ARE WE LETTING YOU CHOOSE WHICH ONE OF US

24

GETS TO BE WITH YOU?

25

- I-- I-- I DON'T KNOW.

26

- I AM A CONCERT PIANIST. JENNIFER IS A
PUBLISHED AUTHOR. WHAT DO YOU DO JAY?

27

- I BRAID HAIR--

28

- NO GIRL, NOT RIGHT NOW.

29

- WELL, I'M A FORMER COLLEGE BASKETBALL PLAYER.

30

- REALLY? DOES THAT PAY WELL, BECAUSE
I'M PRETTY SURE YOU GRADUATED 8 YEARS AGO JAY.

31

- [some girls whisper] THAT'S TRUE...

32

- WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?

33

- WELL MY FAMILY IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

34

- OH HELL NAW, DID YOU LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS?

35

[girls gasp]
- WHAT? NO!

36

- NO, NO...

37

[interposing voices]

38

- LISTEN CHRISTIE, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE
APART OF THIS SHOW ANYMORE, THEN THAT'S FINE.

39

YOU CAN GO.

40

- [gasps] CAN I GO? THANK YOU, CREEPY BUTLER.

41

- YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE, CHRISTIE?

42

I'LL JUST GIVE THIS ROSE TO, JENNIFER.

43

44

- I DON'T WANT THAT.

45

- WHAT?

46

- YOU HAD ME DRESS UP LIKE A COOKIE.

47

[girls gasp]

48

- AND SING KARAOKE JAY!

49

I'M A GROWN ASS WOMAN, AND I'M PUBLISHED
IN 3 LANGUAGES.

50

- BABY, C'MON, WE HAD A CONNECTION.
I FELT SOMETHING VERY DEEP WITH YOU.

51

- I DON'T WANT YOUR [bleep],

52

AND I DON'T WANT YOUR ROSE.

53

- OKAY, UH, LISA, BABY. YOU KNEW I WAS GOING
TO GIVE YOU A ROSE ANYWAY.

54

- WHAT'S MY LAST NAME?

55

56

- UM, KAYE. YEP. IT'S LISA KAYE.

57

- IT'S KAPELLAR, OKAY? IT'S LISA KAPELLAR.

58

- BABY, I-- I DON'T KNOW. THERE'S A LOT OF
NAMES TO REMEMBER. THERE'S LIKE 25 OF YOU.

59

- WELL IT'S LIKE A MILLION OF YOU.
AND THE NEXT TIME I WANT TO FIND ONE I'LL JUST

60

GO TO A APPLEBEE'S HAPPY HOUR.

61

[GIRLS]: HA!

62

63

- APPLEBEE'S?

64

- AND I CAN BUY MY OWN ROSE. THEY'RE
ONLY LIKE .99 CENTS.

65

- IT'S A SYMBOL OF MY LOVE-- IT'S A SYMBOL.

66

- OH...I HAVE A SYMBOL FOR YOU TOO.

67

68

- [GIRLS]: YES, GIRL.

69

GET IT, GET IT.

70

YOU GO GIRL.

71

- YOU KNOW WHAT GIRLS? WHO WANTS A MARGARITA?

72

- [GIRLS]: YES.

73

[interposing voices]

74

- WHAT-- WHAT?

75

- THERE'S A TGI FRIDAY'S RIGHT DOWN THE STREET.

76

- I STILL GOT MORE ROSES.

77

78

- NEXT SEASON ON THE BLACK BACHELORETTE.

79

- WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS ROSE?

80

- OF COURSE.

81

I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO HAWAII, AND SWIM
IN THE OCEAN WITH YOU.

82

- OH NO HONEY, THIS IS BRAND NEW HAIR.
GIVE ME BACK THAT ROSE.

83

Up Next:

The Honest Bachelor

AUTOPLAY
Up Next In: 10
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