Siskel: Welcome to Siskel and Eberts at the Movies
Ebert: Tonight we are going to review Paranormal Activity 3
Ebert: The first thing I want to say is Paranormal Activity 3 sucked.
It should have been called Paranormal Inactivity
Siskel: Yes because nothing ever happened! I will only call this movie a suspense movie
because I waited in suspense the whole entire movie for anything to happen
Ebert: and nothing ever did!
Sikel: Anyway, I want you all to know. I came back to life to warn everyone
not to see this movie
so you won't be bored to Death
and let me tell you something about death.
Death is boring. Maybe a little less boring than this Movie, but still very boring.
with nothing to do, but look for brains to eat.
Plus there's no more sex after death and Even if you masterbate very carefully
your Zombie Penis will still fall off.
Ebert: My Advice, You should save your money and buy a sleeping pill.
Because watching this movie will have the same effect. Sleep.
Siskel: Yes If this movie were around a year ago Michael Jackson could have watched it
fell asleep and he would still be alive today!
Ebert: Also, The movie Plot is slower and more painful than cancer. Believe me I know!!!
Siskel: The scariest part of the Movie wasn't even the Ghost
Ebert: Spoiler alert
Siskel: The scariest part of the Movie was when the mom threw on a Halloween mask
and jumped out of the closet and went Boo!
Ebert: I mean really. Whats up with that.
Siskel: Yes, I remember that part because I almost flinched.
Ebert: To be honest I blinked and missed the scariest part of the movie!
Ebert: that's why, for me, the Scariest part of the movie wasn't even in the movie.
Siskel: What do you mean?
The Scariest part of the movie for me was When I was watching the movie
my balls were itchy so I scratched them and then I felt a lump
Do you know how scary that is?
Siskel: yes, Testicular cancer can be very frightnening.
Ebert: Otherwise the movie wasn't scary
Siskel: and Toby, the ghost, wasn't scary. he more like a douche and a brat.
Ebert: yes, He kept messing up the furniture
I mean who do you think has to rearrange all that stuff. Jerk!
Siskel: Yes, in terms of ghost scariness I would say Toby was way less scarier than say Casper.
The Friendly Ghost.
Known for his friendliness
and not his scariness.
Ebert: Yes, that's right Toby. Casper is scarier than you!
Siskel: After I watched the movie, I not only wanted my money back
I wanted my Life back. They totally wasted 2 hours of my life.
Ebert: You mean they totally wasted almost 2 hours of your after life.
Siskel: Zombie Laugh
Ebert: LOL - L O L ect
Ebert: Plus they didn't even have 2 of the coolest scenes from the commercial in the movie.
Siskel: Yes. What's up with that First,
they didn't splash water on the ghost so you could see him when the little girl said
he's right next to you
Ebert: And Scary Mary's face never appeared in the batroom!!
Siskel: Other cliche parts of movie where when Toby the ghost
actually put a sheet over his head to scare the baby sitter. I mean really Toby
Ebert: Also, of coarse the mom never believes the kids about the ghost
and wont even watch the video tape evidence
and then she keeps calling the ghost an imaginary friend and saying how cute it is when the girls have tea with him.
Siskel: The only smart character in the movie was Randy. He saw the ghost Video tape and Ran!
Ebert : Yes, randy ran. Just like in his name. L O L
Siskel: Anyway, Paranormal Activity 3 was deader than me
so I give this movie 2 skeletal thumbs down.