Hello. I'm David Young.
Male
,
31 years old
Last Login: about 3 months ago
Joined: about 10 months ago
About:
I'm the guy that everyone loves to have around because I make them laugh. I have no self-censor so I say some of the most outrageous and irreverant things any one could ever imagine. I want to work on my stand-up and performance skills so that maybe after I am out of the Air Force I could ...
more >I'm the guy that everyone loves to have around because I make them laugh. I have no self-censor so I say some of the most outrageous and irreverant things any one could ever imagine. I want to work on my stand-up and performance skills so that maybe after I am out of the Air Force I could take a crack at being a stand-up full time. I have served my country since 1995. I have lived and served in more than 30 countries in the last 10 years including Panama, Africa, Turkey, and Iraq. Tours with SOCOM, NATO, and SouthCom. You will often find me playing World of Warcraft on Greymane (for the WoW junkies). I just love to make people laugh, I want people who have met me to tell other people that I am the craziest/funniest person they have ever met in real life.
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Website: This is as good as any
Hometown: EARTH
Current City: Wichita
Country:
United States of America
URL: funnyordie.com/twotimes22
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5 Minutes of stand up I did while deployed to Ali Iraq! Was filmed in a tent so the audio is horrendous so I added subti...
more >5 Minutes of stand up I did while deployed to Ali Iraq! Was filmed in a tent so the audio is horrendous so I added subtitles to this version by request. Keep in mind this is "deployment" humor so if you have never been in the military or deployed before it might lose some of the humor.
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views: 148
| I flubbed the lines a little bit but recovered. // LYRICS: On a long and hot deployment down in old Ali. You can eat out... more >I flubbed the lines a little bit but recovered. // LYRICS: On a long and hot deployment down in old Ali. You can eat out at the Chow Hall, cause at least the food is free. You can think about Ciano's, Taco Bell, or even Burger King. But your guts will soon be rumblin' the way they always do, when you haven't washed your hands good and you've caught the runny poo. And you almost fell like dying, you've just got to drop the deuce. Here I am, on the bowl again, here I am, I've been here all day. Here I go, hold my calls again, there I go, guts enraged... Now you walk back from the restraunt, on what they call a road. And you feel your stomach churnin' and your guts let out a groan it's intestinal jihad, and your butt just might explode. Sometimes it's called the squirts, other times the bends, but the result is all the same, friggin' Saddam's got his revenge. And when you know its comin', you might as well just wear depends. Yeah here I am, on the bowl again, there I am, I've been here all day. Here I go, stuck in the stall again, there I go, guts enraged. When you need a toilet, it's a million miles away. And everything you ate this week, it comes out in a spray. As the evil leaves your body, like the swear words that you say. Later in the evenin' your still sitting on the pot, the toilet bowl has battle scars, from the war that you have fought. You flush the toilet one more time, please God make it stop! Oh here I am, on the bowl again, here I am, it's ruined my day. And here I go, I'm stuck in the stall again, there I go guts enraged. OH HERE I AM, on the bowl again...There I am it's ruined my day. Here I go, I'm stuck in the stall again, there I go... There I go... < lessviews: 838 |
| 5 Minutes of stand up I did while deployed to Ali Iraq! Was filmed in a tent so the audio is horrendous. Keep in mind th... more >5 Minutes of stand up I did while deployed to Ali Iraq! Was filmed in a tent so the audio is horrendous. Keep in mind this is "deployment" humor so if you have never been in the military or deployed before it might lose some of the humor. < lessviews: 1,743 |
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