twotimes22

I flubbed the lines a little bit but recovered. // LYRICS: On a long and hot deployment down in old Ali. You can eat out... more >

I flubbed the lines a little bit but recovered. // LYRICS: On a long and hot deployment down in old Ali. You can eat out at the Chow Hall, cause at least the food is free. You can think about Ciano's, Taco Bell, or even Burger King. But your guts will soon be rumblin' the way they always do, when you haven't washed your hands good and you've caught the runny poo. And you almost fell like dying, you've just got to drop the deuce. Here I am, on the bowl again, here I am, I've been here all day. Here I go, hold my calls again, there I go, guts enraged... Now you walk back from the restraunt, on what they call a road. And you feel your stomach churnin' and your guts let out a groan it's intestinal jihad, and your butt just might explode. Sometimes it's called the squirts, other times the bends, but the result is all the same, friggin' Saddam's got his revenge. And when you know its comin', you might as well just wear depends. Yeah here I am, on the bowl again, there I am, I've been here all day. Here I go, stuck in the stall again, there I go, guts enraged. When you need a toilet, it's a million miles away. And everything you ate this week, it comes out in a spray. As the evil leaves your body, like the swear words that you say. Later in the evenin' your still sitting on the pot, the toilet bowl has battle scars, from the war that you have fought. You flush the toilet one more time, please God make it stop! Oh here I am, on the bowl again, here I am, it's ruined my day. And here I go, I'm stuck in the stall again, there I go guts enraged. OH HERE I AM, on the bowl again...There I am it's ruined my day. Here I go, I'm stuck in the stall again, there I go... There I go... < less

5 Minutes of stand up I did while deployed to Ali Iraq! Was filmed in a tent so the audio is horrendous. Keep in mind th... more >

5 Minutes of stand up I did while deployed to Ali Iraq! Was filmed in a tent so the audio is horrendous. Keep in mind this is "deployment" humor so if you have never been in the military or deployed before it might lose some of the humor. < less