THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF TURNPIKE PICTURES: 1. Script must make you piss yourself before even considering shooting. 2. A short film shouldn't cost more then a night with hooker ( atlantic city hookers...not charlie sheen hookers) 3. fuck your jib shot! 4. Just because your mother likes it...doesn't mean it's good. 5. if you've never been in a relationship....just write about jerking off....it'll be much more accurate. 6. cast people who are as interested/excited in your film as you are........ if not just play the part yourself (hell if M Night can get away with it, odds are you can too.) 7. Shooting crass little short films will not get you laid!! so don't worry about printing up business cards with "Director" & "Producer" on them. 8. Trust your crew...if you can't...you hired the wrong crew...Or you a mindless meglomaniacal Ahab. 9. If your short film is over 15 minutes long...Itbetter have 6 minutes of the new Batman, 4 minutes of hardcore girl on girl, 1 minute of people getting tasered..... and the remainder better be funnier then people getting tasered, cause that's frigging hysterical!! 10. If you cast only white people that shit better be a friends episode or a movie about Nazi's... The world is filled with all types of people... you closet bigot you! fyi......depending on how you tell it, everything is funny!! EVERYTHING!!!