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theandyappleton

with great moustache comes great responsibility

theandyappleton theandyappleton

Andy was born in 1972 in Ipswich. It was a difficult birth as his mother was in Blackburn at the time. As a fat cheese loving child, Andy liked to draw & obsese about Star Wars, he once set fire to a neighbour by accident. Some time later Andy went to study Every type of science including Monkey Physics at Blackburn University, he fell in love with the town. This was still a time when marriages between man and town were frowned upon, so rather than risk public derision, Andy decided to just live there instead. Despite stealing most of his father's money Andy didn't have two pennies to rub together, which was a shame as it was his only way of keeping warm. He then began to perform disco music in bars and club in town, and gave occasional rave type shows. In 1991 he was asked by Maltese people to put together a disco show for Mediteranean types. Their first choice, Cheryl from Bucks Fizz had turned out to be a shit DJ. Two years later, Xmas 93, at ten in the evening, Andy and his imaginary friends realised he needed fish & Chips so he returned to Blighty...It was raining. Later on some years, roughly about Christmas Andy quite literally stepped out his DJ Box and picked up the front door keys of disco land and was an immediate success, it gained Andy a cool, underground kudos which he described as "not nearly enough". The entire country then followed, then Area Manager type stuff, then a brief spell in prison, and then in 2006 Andy caused an international furore with the 'I'm not doing this shit anymore' speech so he quit the world of Neon, lights & Neon lights. This secured his notoriety with the public plus he had a big house in Chorley. "Blackburn can shove itself", he said. The Movies followed soon after, which was the first job where his intelligence and charisma could be expressed. Andy says of the career so far, "By now I was internationaly famous and could pretty much buy whatever & whoever I wanted" So Andy bought a big bag of cocaine and headed to hookerville.......he is now retired and is very rarely seen, only now and again popping up on the A list to go to Movie Premieres or occasionally doing charity work for 'women that need proper filthy sex'. On his last official tour of duty Andy was heard to have said 'They love it up em, all of em, especially the quiet ones'. Andy is now 37, he still doesn't give a fuck!