10/16: NO SHIT NEWS OF THE WEEK

Sex addiction is on the rise.
No shit. Wanna fuck?

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are back together.
No shit. Everyone knows that you aren’t really broken up in Hollywood until your publicist says it’s ok.

Sarah Palin violated an Alaskan ethics law and abused her power when she fired Public Safety Commissioner Walter Monegan.
No shit. But doggonit there are no rules when it comes to love, war, and forcing your agenda on people.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting divorced.
No shit. Being married is a snooze. Finally, Madonna will be fun again.

Dick Cheney was admitted to the hospital for an abnormal heartbeat.
No shit. When Dick Cheney’s heart beats at all, that’s abnormal.

Ringo Starr doesn’t want fans to send him any more mail.
No shit. And I guess he doesn’t want any more fans.

Barack won the third and final Presidential debate.
No shit. When it’s over, it’s over.