Golf Becomes Most Un-American Sport Ever

President George W. Bush recently stated that he has stopped playing golf in an effort to show solidarity with U.S. troops and their families. Said the President “I don’t want some Mom whose son may have recently died to see the Commander in Chief playing golf.” To which I respond, Fuckin’-A right Mr. President, Fuckin’-A right. Now, this may seem extreme in regards to a Presidential golf boycott, but not when you view them in light of some disturbing facts.

FACT! Golf uses the term ‘handicap’ to denote a numerical measure of an amateur golfer’s playing ability. Real classy….I’m sure Golf just forgot that ‘handicap’ is also the term used to describe over 500 U.S. soldiers who’ve had limbs blown off in Iraq and Afghanistan…and I’m being sarcastic when I say I’m sure they forgot.

DIFFERENT FACT! People practice hitting golf balls on a ‘driving range.’  Like that’s not going to remind every red blooded American of our brave troops DRIVING poorly armored vehicles through places like Baghdad and Mosul. Sheesh! More like Mos-‘you’ll-be-sorry-if-you-don’t-stop-being-a-dick, Golf.’

FACT ATTACK!  Iraq is in the Persian Gulf.  Ummmm, guess what, Most Un-American Sport Ever?  This is like if I went to play tennis and grabbed my brand new titanium I-Raquet; a small change to some vowels can be HUGELY offensive….just think of the word “can’t.”

The President has turned his back on you Golf, a decision which I commend and encourage others to make in solidarity with our troops.