- 10:14a woke up. missed your arms.
- 11:18a stared at your pillow.
- 11:47a drove to yoga. felt disconnected and cried during child pose.
- 12:31p made soup for lunch. spilled it. left it on the floor.
- 12:45p looked at a picture of you on the wall.
- 1:29p drank out of the glass you used last night for dinner.
- 1:56p held my breath so i wouldn't cry.
- 2:34p cried.
- 3:03p smelled the armpit of the tshirt you wore to bed.
- 3:24p went through our iphoto album.
- 3:44p printed all of our photos and taped them to the wall.
- 3:52p ripped all the photos off the wall and yelled at them.
- 4:01p turned my phone off, then back on, to make sure it was working. still no message from you.
- 4:05p listened to all of your old messages on my phone and srolled through our text conversations.
- 4:14p sent you a blank text so you would wonder if it was an accident or i really wanted to talk.
- 5:11p crawled under the area rug. found an old receipt from when we went to IHOP ironically.
- 5:55p started drinking beer.
- 6:32p my mom called. she could tell something was wrong. i lied and said i had the flu.
- 7:17p yelled at one of those dating shows on VH1. "YOU CAN'T FIND LOVE ON A GAME SHOW!"
- 7:47p googled how to get cast on one of those game shows.
- 8:12p sat on the floor in the kitchen.
- 8:56p left a message on my boss' voicemail. faked a cough so i won't have to go in tomorrow.
- 933p still coughing.
- 9:38p started crying because i'm coughing. am i being punished?!
- 9:39p choked on the mucus in my throat from crying.
- 10:01p texted you the word "please".
- 10:22p ran out of tissues.
- 10:56p took tylenol pm.
- 11:32p drank another beer.
- 11:55p passed out.
WANT MORE FUNNY?
Patience is a virtue...
Bobby Bottleservice - Jersey Shore Auditi...
(3:07) Bobby Bottleservice (Nick Kroll) auditions fo...
MySpace
What We Like on the Web Right Now |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
7 comments
haha genius. "texted you the word please"
seems too true it's kinda boring. but then again, if i were in the same situation now, i'd feel every word...
seems too true it's kinda boring. but then again, if i were in the same situation now, i'd feel every word...
well that felt a bit too close to the truth
He's just not that into your crap.
haha
I've been meaning to tell you that I actually love IHOP. I'VE BEEN LIVING A LIE!
God, it feels good to get that off of my chest.