Illusionist David Blaine just announced his latest stunt will be hanging upside down above New York's Central Park for three days and two nights. However, Blaine's announcement comes on the heels of several less impressive stunts. Here are a dozen of Blaine's death-defying feats positively guaranteed to NOT blow your mind:

1. Shotgunning a Foster's "Oil Can" in 10 seconds or less in the Los Angeles Botanical Gardens. 

2. Spooning Rosie O'Donnel for two weeks straight on top of the Empire State building. 

3. Pulling off the nose of small child and permanently switching it with his own nose.

4. Turning the Ace of Hearts into the Ace of Hearts from a different deck. 

5. Magically disappearing from Leonardo DiCaprio's entourage.

6. Rickrolling every computer in the world simultaneously.

7. Finishing a 100 meter race in 9.69 seconds while driving his car.

8. Defeating Chris Angel in magician's duel by cloning and murdering himself nightly.

9. Clasping his hands over his eyes and pretending that no one can see him for three days. 

10. Convincing complete strangers that his name is "Blavid Daine."

11. Watching "Police Academy" 1-6 while riding on Bubba Smith's shoulders.

12. Making a little girl's teeth disappear.... by kicking her in the mouth.