Like an Eskimo, but for Masturbation

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Just like the Eskimo need many words to describe different kinds of snow, it is useful for the modern self-pleasurer to have many words to describe the sin of Onan.

Roosterbate: masturbation for the purpose of waking up, or greeting the day.

Reminiscibate : memory based masturbation

Pragmatibate: masturbation to rid yourself of a tenacious turgidity, often employed on long distance bus trips

Procrastibate : masturbation for the purpose of putting off more useful activities.

Emobate : An incomplete masturbation due to self loathing

Jurassibate : masturbation to dinosaur related material

Karassibate : group masturbation with fellow readers of Kurt Vonnegut

Debatobate : weighing the pros and cons of whether or not to masturbate

NoBassibate : self-pleasure resorted to when fish aren't biting

Lastibate : the last time you masturbate (theoretical)