PORK ENVY
I know a lot of vegetarians, and I like eating at vegggie-only eateries. I don't understand the number of punnily-named fake-meat dishes that populate the menus of said eateries. It's like drinking non-alcoholic beer, or watching R-Rated pornography. Don't eat meat, don't drink, don't sin, but don't resort to desperate half-measures to get close to what you want to do.
But in the spirit of helpfullness, I'd like to offer up some more possible names of Vegetarian Faux-Meat Products!
- Pepperoni -> Pepperphony
- Roast Beef -> Ghost Beef
- Tenderloins -> Pretenderloins
- Babyback Ribs -> Babyback Fibs
- Hamburger -> Shamburger
- Bacon -> Facon
- Fried Chicken -> Fried Trickin'
- Hot Dogs -> Not Dogs
- Porterhouse -> Poserhouse
- Shrimp Scampi -> Shrimp SCAMpi
- Anchovies -> Antichovies
- Steak -> Misteak
Patience is a virtue...
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5 comments
As if being a duck weren't enough, I'm unemployed with three kids and not a pond in sight. The Grifters movie sure came in handy.
Those sound delicious. Well. No, they don’t.
Taint meat? I’m in.
T’aint Meat?
PIGS-IN -A-BLANKET….FIGS-IN-A-BLANKET
CRAB CAKES……..CRAB FAKES
SALMON……….SHAMMIN’
MANATEE BURGERS…….WANNABE BURGERS ok stick a spork in me im done