Celebrity Chef SPIKE REE, born in Chungking China, is one of a set of fraternal twins. He and his sister Sarah were born to King Chung, of the Chung Dynasty, and his favorite concubine, #4. After King was deposed… (following the unfortun... more >

Celebrity Chef SPIKE REE, born in Chungking China, is one of a set of fraternal twins. He and his sister Sarah were born to King Chung, of the Chung Dynasty, and his favorite concubine, #4. After King was deposed… (following the unfortunate accident at the ball-bearing factory where he moonlighted,) he was exiled from the province of Chung and allowed to take only ONE treasured possession. To his dismay, deposed King Chung couldn’t take his children because as you know, twins equals two. So, he chose a one-of-a-kind prosthetic ball-bearing foot the Chungking Ball-Bearing factory fashioned for him, (instead of the customary "gold watch" one usually gets upon retiring... or being deposed), to replace the foot King Chung lost in the aforementioned mishap. So, King Chung left Chungking without his twin children Spike and Sarah, and was forever affectionately known by Chungkingians as the original Father of “walk ‘n’ roll.” And the rest, as I’m
sure you all know, is history…

Suddenly orphaned, SPIKE was seemingly destined for a life of hopelessness. But as luck would have it, famous 1960’s screen sex kitten Angelina Jo Ree and iconic film star Brad Schmidt happened to be in China shooting their hit Undersea Action film, "Mr. and Mrs. Langoustine," when they visited Spike’s orphanage as Goodwill Ambassadors. Angelina took to Sarah immediately and Brad sensed there was something special about Spike. Likewise, Spike knew there was "something about Schmidt." So, "Brangelina" adopted them on the spot, at which time they took her last name - Spike and Sarah Ree.

However, the stress of filming "Mr. and Mrs. Langoustine" proved to be too much for Angelina. Between the maniacal Director, George Looney, and her fear of water, she snapped one day and karate-chopped a photographer. Unfortunately for her, the man was not a Paparazzi stalking her, but merely one of many Chinese men with cameras at the Chungking Zoo, snapping pictures of a newborn panda. The man sued Angelina, winning a record-setting amount of Yen, which became known across Chungking as the infamous “Chop-Sue-Ree” case. As ruck would have it... I mean as luck would have it, Brad Schmidt had been constructing “Green” tea huts (from his own architectual design, by the way), for Chungking refugees who fled after the Pro-Democracy Conflict, when the government attempted to close the only free speech publication, the Rice Paper. Because of his selfless charitable acts for the Chungking people, all was forgiven. (MORE TO COME.) < less