I own many Lionel Ritchie records and my speed boat (aka. House) smells of fine English leather. I currently reside at Lake Pleasant near Phoenix, Arizona. I own several leather pants made of exotic ostrich skin, a vast monical collection, and a pet alligator (Rocky) who lives on the boat with me and who’s also my best friend. I spend my days getting hammered on the lake with Rocky as we work on our tans and day trade in the sun. On rainy days we spend our time watching episodes of Baywatch, Miami Vice, Saved By the Bell, and Charles in Charge. I have thirteen baby mommas who reside all over the world from Pakistan to Japan. My skin is a nice dark bronze and all my outfits are topped off with no socks and loafers. If you are looking for class, you’ve come to the right place! Feel free to look around or come by the boat. XOXO Oh, I’m the Phoenix chapter president of Delta Fu Gamma which is founded by the Deaf Frat Guy (Maverick) from the Adam Corolla show.