Since NBA power forward Chris Bosh joined his buddies Lebron James and Dwyane Wade in Miaimi, the Heat star has received considerably more media attention than his days with the Toronto Raptors. A lot of the media attention has been great, but some (especially as of late) has been centered around his "suspect" still images.
Whether it's a photo from a game or a questionable photo shoot in a swimming pool, Chris Bosh always has something "going on" in his pictures. Some call it photogenics, some call it zestiness, but we wanted to hear from the man himself.
Chris Bosh has a beautiful wife and claims that while he loves all of his supporters, regardless of sexuality, there are perfectly logical explanations as to why he may have a "gay-looking face" in pictures or pose in a "feminine fashion" on (several) occasions. I recently sat down with the NBA All-Star to get his rationale on a few choice images, and he seemed to make pretty perfect sense...
MisterEffoEx (MEE): Well first of all thanks for joining me Chris, it's great to finally meet you. I think we'll get right to it and start with picture number one since it probably has the largest gay following. Why'd you do it, considering the stigma placed around openly homosexual basketball players?
Chris Bosh (CB): Thanks for having me. Well, first of all, I'd like to say that I love my fans, all of them. And I do understand the stigma placed around gay athletes. But this wasn't my fault.
MEE: How so?
CB: We took hundreds of photos in a 45-minute span, they knew I was working on a tight schedule that afternoon. I counted at least 125 pictures, and they only gave me two to choose from...TWO! They said the rest had poor light quality and that I had to make a decision. And there you have it.
MEE: I won't even ask what fashion show you were at, you were with your smoking hot wife so it's all good.
CB: Well thank y—
MEE: But then you had to sit down and do this. Why Chris?
CB: Now this one, I get. You would have to be in the know to understand why I'm positioned like that. The guy to my left was a complete stranger, but he was extremely nice.
MEE: Is that why you're looking at him like tha—
CB: Just shut the fuck up and listen Fox, damn. So my wife and I had pasta with red sauce earlier that afternoon for lunch, and I apparently had a big red pasta sauce stain on my right leg, so he suggested I just cross my legs. Perfect...until he noticed an even bigger red stain above my left knee. My options were to either place my hands on my knee or to place Adrienne's purse on my lap for the remainder of the show, feel me?
MEE: Now I do. Before, I just thought you were sitting in a naturally comfortable position. But now it makes sense. Absolutely.
MEE: I'm sure you've seen the video, I don't know if you could have tapped that microphone any gentler. Did you lose a bet or something?
CB: I did...
MEE: Oh.......well, on to the next one then.
Leaning Tower of Chris
MEE: What happened here Chris?
CB: What do you mean, what's wrong with this one?
MEE: Can we agree that you have a slight popping of the hip going on in this one?
CB: Oh, without a doubt. Now keep in mind there were two minutes remaining in that game, and I had played all but six minutes. I was dead tired, Lebron and Dwyane were fresh off the bench. What many critics call a hip pop, I call a resulting posture of hard work and endurance.
MEE: So that's what hard work and endurance looks like. Great personification, moving right along...
MEE: I think we'll make this fifth one the last one...end it on a nice even number.
CB: Five is an od—
MEE: Whoa, whoa...I'm asking the questions here buddy. So this is one of my personal favorites, and I would love to hear just what on Earth provoked you to display such a...speechless...facial expression....
CB: You know how people squint to see things clearer or farther away? I don't squint...ever. Squinting, or strabismus, is a misalignment of the two eyes so that both eyes aren't looking in the same direction. I, fortunately, do not suffer from said misalignment. Instead of squinting, my eyes naturally widen and my irides slide up towards my cranium when I need better visibility. I was simply looking up in the rafters to see if my Mom was wearing her favorite pin. And she was, I could see it clear as day.
MEE: Holy shit. We need to do this again some time Chris. I know you have plenty more material out there, so maybe we'll get back together before playoffs or something.
CB: I would like that very much, this is good for me. Thanks again for having me Fox.
MEE: No Chris, thank you.