A selection of 12 images from artists Alex Pardee & Skinner from their huge new collection of paintings entitled "The Butcher Kings", where the two artists imagined what the world would be like if every icon and... more »
By zerofriends October 06, 2011 6.9k views More Info
190 Funny Votes
146 Die Votes
Published October 06, 2011

"Juggalobot" By Alex Pardee

There are two things that are really important to me in my life right now, and they are A) the worst blouse-wearing character in the entire Star Wars universe, and B) the best subculture of jersey-wearing human-semi-people in the real universe. It was only natural to mash them together to create the ultimate loaf of love.

"Richard Simminsane" By Skinner

Richard Simmons has always wanted the best things for you. All of the best things in life. He is trying to rececssitate your dead dreams. This is a fabulous thing for you. How can he NOT be your God now? Huh? How?

"Krispie Centipede" By Alex Pardee

I've made Photoshop pics of so many different "human centipede forms" ranging from semi trucks to clowns on bikes. I was eating a bowl of rice krispies and my spoon only picked up 3 kernels all lined up floating in the milk in perfect centipede formation. I laughed quietly. And then i proceeded to imagine Snap Krackle & Pop with their shirts off.

"Merkel Jerkin" By Skinner

He is gonna dunk on you, but when he dunks the ball he's actually dunking a testicle in your face and your mouth. And that's what you get.

"Elephant Man-At-Arms" by Alex Pardee

The elephant Man's always got a bad rap. But the dude had the constitution and leadership of He-Man's mentor, Duncan AKA Man-At-Arms. So I just figured that if the elephant man existed in a fantasy universe full of odd looking humanoids instead of turn-of-the-century London, he'd get the respect he deserves. 

"Face Crimes" By Skinner

Robocop doesn't like your face crimes. He doesn't want to hear any opinions or any shit about his own face from you. That's not what he's here for. You commit a lot of crimes this way. You have been pushing it. Cool your jets. Stop horsin' around. 

"Karate Kid n Play" By Alex Pardee

The janitor at my apartment complex drugged me and forced me to kick his car tires over and over and over and over. I didn't know why he was making me do it until one night at the Pajama Jammie Jam in 1993, a guy with a high-top fade all of a sudden uncontrollably attempted to kick me as soon as "You Can't Touch This" blared from the speakers. Because of my training, I was a able to block his kick with my kick, and as our sneakers clashed like the swords of titans, and like magic, a new dance was invented. And it was beautiful.

"Wu Tang Clown" By Skinner

Wu Tang Clown has a lot of  little things he wants to share with you. He wants to sit on your little face and your little body. That's not a healthy thing that he wants to do, but its something you are gonna have to figure out how to live with, little by little  til you are lovin' it.

"BiggieFoot By Alex Pardee"

A creature of legend, Biggie Foot was last seen goin back to the forests of Cali to drink his extinct blend of Cristal, and he has rarely been photographed since. Afraid of no man, woman, or hideous sweater pattern, Biggie's only known rival was someone else known for ducking the eyes of the paparazzi. That man….was The Tupacness Monster. 

"Macaulay Hulkin" By Skinner

Awww man you got left at home!! Alone! Man! thats a real bum trip for you huh?!! Well, Maybe you can throw a party for yourself and that tiny baby in your mouth!! That will be a rager Right? Cuz you are the hulk right? You rage around and everything?

"Fuck The Police" By Alex Pardee

Ummm, hey, guys. Just so you know, that dude isn't a real cop. He's a CYBORG, for shit's sake. A liquid alloy cyborg at that. Eazy-E can do so much better.

"She-Man" By Skinner

Well It looks like She-Man is back.. I miss my old dad.

"Captain Kirk Cobain" By Alex Pardee

This was the first time Kirk's phaser's settings were changed from "stun". Oh well, he wrote such shitty poetry anyway.