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A much needed list of career opportunities for those of us raised by television.
Published January 09, 2012 680 views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
My cat. My parents for having a television raise me. Blossom. The nineties.
38 Funny Votes
5 Die Votes
Published January 09, 2012

Start a troupe that only dances in monochromatic rooms to extremely cheesy soul music stressing the importance of family values.

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Begin a stray cat removal service but only hire illegal aliens, like "Alf".

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Open a used clothing store that only sells Cosby sweaters, Blossom hats & copies of that one rooster//egg shirt Roseanne always wore.

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Start a nanny service that only employs girl crazy men in their early 20s who have no business raising children.

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(See "Charles in Charge" for more information.)

Invest in an unrealistically large menu & a wireless ear-bud/mic set so that you can start a business following people around on their dates.

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**NOTE: Provide advice in the most conspicuous manner possible, that way there is absolutely no way this business plan can fail. 

Become a stylist for NBA stars. They love to dress like Urkel anyway.

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Invent a Kimmy Gibler endorsed foot oder spray.

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"Carl Winslow's Security & Donuts"

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Write a self-help book teaching people to take the good, take the bad, take them both; so that they TOO can have, "The Facts of Life!

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Become an unsuccessful comedian! (because it is just working out so well for me...)

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Be prepared to sleep past noon & spend a lot of time eatting ramen in your underwear while your cat gives you dirty looks...