By popular demand, some girl-centric achievements, from the maker of Boyfriend Badges, to bestow upon your kick ass girlfriend, friend, or self (hey, you earned 'em)! Inspired by old school merit badges, you won't... more »

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February 29, 2012

Girlfriend Badges--set of 6

The set includes (from top left to bottom right): Bro Approved, Menstrual Management, "It's Ok" (Erectile Dysfunction Amnesty Badge), Boobs-Yay!, Fast Food Friendly, and Video Game Tolerance. Each Badge is 1.25 inches.

Fast Food Friendly

I ain't sayin' she's a gold digga...but she needs to learn to appreciate the wonder that is processed cheese. Girls who insist that every dinner date be at some fancy french foo foo place are rarely worth the trouble. You want a girl who can be cool with keeping it casual, and can enjoy the simple pleasures in life. I'm talking about trans fats, yo! Whether you like the occasional double decker burger or are a total 3am at taco bell addict, it's nice to have someone getting greasy by your side.

Video Game Tolerance

I'm not saying a good girlfriend needs to be addicted to Skyrim and install twin toilets in the living room so you NEVER have to stop playing, but an attitude ranging from tolerance to enjoyment is a big plus! Just don't be shocked when you get her to play old school Mortal Kombat and she stomps your ass into a pulp. You have only yourself to blame.

Boobs! Yay!

I know it doesn't seem like much of an achievement, but let's be honest: guys don't ask for much. Petite delicacies, hefty handfuls, or face smothering, Jerry Springer- guest- triple- E- size- titties, your guy is just stoked that they're there! BOOBS! Yay!

"It's ok, Baby"

Hey, it happens. Whether it's due to whiskey dick or performance anxiety, once in a while the third member of your party just isn't going to cooperate.  And a good girlfriend always says, "It's ok, baby. It's no big deal." Sometimes it's genuinely not, but other times we're really thinking "Are you f**king kidding me?? I wonder if I have any AA batteries in the kitchen..." Just know that no matter what terrible, hormone fueled thoughts fly through our heads in that brief moment of disappointment, we still love you and think you're the manliest man ever! That deserves a badge of honor!

Menstrual Management

If you think you know what your girlfriend goes through every month, let me assure you that you have no idea. Having a period is like having a train drive through your uterus while angry hobos with forks dive out of the cars and start stabbing your insides. If your girlfriend can make it through a week of that and still go to work, look cute for you, and not kill anyone, she deserves a damn medal. In the meantime, this button will have to do! Show her you appreciate how tough she is with the Menstrual Mangement badge!

Bro Approved!

It's a big time relationship milestone when you no longer have to decide between your Bros and your Ho. They've met her, they think she's cool, and she really won them over when she drank 3 beers in under a minute! Bro Approved! Show her she's welcome to hang with your gang. Don't worry, you can still have guy time and go on weird male retreats where you get naked and howl at the moon. We don't want any part of that business.