Our prayers go out to all of the residents of the states affected by the following weather forecasts. We can only imagine what it's like to wake up, look out the window, and see a giant penis blanketing your state. Weather calls for showers? Good night. And good luck.
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Published: July 07, 2011

A New Effort to Keep the Borders Safe

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Dear Southern states that were affected by his excitement. Take it as a compliment.

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Everybody evacuate Charleston immediately.

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Even the sun is in on it. Shit just got real.

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A radioactive dick has taken over the midwest. The goggles..they do nothing.

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Schools will be closed today. Weather's fine, but a giant, unidentified cock has landed on all major freeways.

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Um, you guys see the dick, right? Okay. Just making sure.

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