"I just can't live in New York anymore."
"People won't give me a break."
"I can't step outside my apartment without being bombarded."
"Every night I dream of living unmolested by the media. Turns out dreams don't come true."
"I've often thought of hiding out in a cave like Osama bin Laden to escape all the attention."
"I legally changed my name to Alicia Keys to throw the media off. Unlucky for me, she turned out to also be a celeb."
"I just can't live in Bethesda, Maryland anymore"
"I've faked my own death dozens of times. One day I'll wise up and do it for real."
“I work 14 hours a day in a shoe factory as part of an elaborate ruse. In truth, I’m a Hollywood star.”
"I demanded to appear on this list twice."