"If you thought the birds were angry, this will blow you away."
"Risk your life fighting hordes of mindless zombies to get the best deals of the season."
"Fight terror with terror!"
"The game that lets you pretend to pretend to make music."
"Pepper spray your way to tyranny!"
"Show those savages what it means to be civilized!"
"Fun for the whole family!"
"The ultimate showdown between a geriatric actor and an Ikea stool."
"Conveniently releasing just in time for election season after more than ten years in the making, now you can hunt down the world's most elusive terrorist with an elite global assassin squad."
"Lara Croft is back with a liberal agenda!"