15 Things That Should Not Exist (But Do For Some Reason)

A smattering of the most unnecessary items to recently grace the Internet and the world.
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Sock Sandals
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Want to get that sexy socks-with-sandals look but can't afford the high price of Birkenstocks? Just throw on some sock sandals and they'll never know the difference.
 
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Clown Lunchmeat
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I bet this is what they serve for lunch in Hell.

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SneakerPants
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For when you're REALLY sure that diarrhea is nowhere in sight.
 
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FaceKinis
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Face-Bikinis are all the rage on the beaches of China this summer. Don't you just want to kiss them on the mouth? 
 
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Dog Fannypack
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Your dog is going to love you for this.
 
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Serial Butt Stabbers
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Better watch your ass.
 
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Justin Bieber DNA Necklace
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A Canadian company is selling cloned samples of Justin Bieber's DNA in pendant necklaces. I don't even want to know what someone is going to do with this.
 
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£600 Worth of a Ginger Scotsman's Hair
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Timothy Price of Aberdeen, Scotland cut off the ginger mane he'd been lovingly growing for 10 years and put the ponytail up for sale at a price of £600. Timothy, 29, said: “It would make a lovely wig.” OR AN EVEN BETTER MERKIN, AMIRITE? 
 
If you want, you can go bid on the hair here. Ya big freak.
 
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Pizzabon
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"Cinnabon announced plans to diversify their menu, adding such items as sandwiches, muffins, and a thing called a Pizzabon."
 
Super gross idea, Cinnabon, but also where do we get them we want them now.

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Blood Spatter Wallpaper
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For the serial killer in all of us.
 
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Butthole Tattoos
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Maria Louise Del Rosario got the words "Rock" and "Wood" inscribed around her butthole as a birthday present for an ex-lover named Rockwood. Classy gift choice, read an interview with her!
 
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FIngerchips
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Have you ever dipped your finger into a jar of Nutella and thought, "I just really want to bite off the whole top of my finger and eat it right now!"? Satisfy that urge with Fingerchips.
 

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Xanadu, the Spray-Foam 'Home of the Future'
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Made entirely of spray-foam, inside and out. Let's go live there and be weirdos together.
 
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The WineRack
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Keep your two (three?) favorite things as close together as possible.
 
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Prehistoric Terror Birds
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The only thing more objectionable than chicken-sized dinosaurs are giant prehistoric terror birds, which will definitely be eating all of us in our sleep later tonight.
 
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  • that looks pretty awesome
  • Can someone inform me as to why the HELL she couldn't wear a shirt to get her asshole tattooed?
  • i luv the wallpaper
  • #12....Bugles already existed to wear on your fingers...duh!
  • idk..i would definitely buy the nuetella hoohaas
  • Im so hungry I could eat a horse.
  • The wine rack was featured on Ellen's show, with Jennifer Anniston trying it out. And the blood-splattered wallpaper is perfect for that guy named "Dexter".
  • LOL! This is just too funny.
  • Holy s*** is this funny!!
  • How is the BK Bacon Sundae not here?
  • i need a great dane for number 5. that way i can take the steps and ride the rest of the way =]
  • Don't leave baby shaped cakes off the list--horrid
  • the blood splatter wall looked cool...
  • Xanadu was leveled to the ground years ago.
  • How would one get into sneaker pants? It ounds painful and time consuming.
  • Can someone inform me as to why the HELL she SHOULD wear a shirt? (And can someone inform me as to why the HELL anyone would WANT to get her asshole tattooed?)
  • DUDU QUEM E DUDU KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
  • Thes are as stupid as the guy on you have talent athat is a ball buster, how dumb can you get or to even letv him on the show.
  • The pizzabon looks good
  • :)
  • I NEED number 10!
  • regarding: ''Maybe you got it wrong'': my favorite tattoo of all time, worn proudly by a dude in contoocook, nh. - HALEY-DAVIDSON.
  • NPR just ran an article on facekinis on chinese beaches; guessing there are no nude beaches there.
  • I had a tatoo in the same place when I was in the Navy...mine says "EXIT ONLY"!!!! I ggot a tatoo while in the Navy and mine says "EXIT ONLY" !!!
  • I was also curious why she felt the need to get naked for such a tattoo. I wil never understand women.
 
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