A smattering of the most unnecessary items to recently grace the Internet and the world.
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Published: August 20, 2012

Sock Sandals

Want to get that sexy socks-with-sandals look but can't afford the high price of Birkenstocks? Just throw on some sock sandals and they'll never know the difference.   [via.]

Clown Lunchmeat

I bet this is what they serve for lunch in Hell. [via.]

SneakerPants

For when you're REALLY sure that diarrhea is nowhere in sight.   [via.]

FaceKinis

Face-Bikinis are all the rage on the beaches of China this summer. Don't you just want to kiss them on the mouth?    [via.]

Dog Fannypack

Your dog is going to love you for this.   [via.]  

Serial Butt Stabbers

Better watch your ass.   [via.]

Justin Bieber DNA Necklace

A Canadian company is selling cloned samples of Justin Bieber's DNA in pendant necklaces. I don't even want to know what someone is going to do with this.   [via / image via.]

£600 Worth of a Ginger Scotsman's Hair

Timothy Price of Aberdeen, Scotland cut off the ginger mane he'd been lovingly growing for 10 years and put the ponytail up for sale at a price of £600. Timothy, 29, said: “It would make a lovely wig.” OR AN EVEN BETTER MERKIN, AMIRITE?    If you want, you can go bid on the hair here. Ya big freak.   [via.]

Pizzabon

"Cinnabon announced plans to diversify their menu, adding such items as sandwiches, muffins, and a thing called a Pizzabon."   Super gross idea, Cinnabon, but also where do we get them we want them now. [via.]

Blood Spatter Wallpaper

For the serial killer in all of us.   [via.]

Butthole Tattoos

Maria Louise Del Rosario got the words "Rock" and "Wood" inscribed around her butthole as a birthday present for an ex-lover named Rockwood. Classy gift choice, read an interview with her!   [via.]

FIngerchips

Have you ever dipped your finger into a jar of Nutella and thought, "I just really want to bite off the whole top of my finger and eat it right now!"? Satisfy that urge with Fingerchips.   [via.]

Xanadu, the Spray-Foam 'Home of the Future'

Made entirely of spray-foam, inside and out. Let's go live there and be weirdos together.   [via.]

The WineRack

Keep your two (three?) favorite things as close together as possible.   [via.]

Prehistoric Terror Birds

The only thing more objectionable than chicken-sized dinosaurs are giant prehistoric terror birds, which will definitely be eating all of us in our sleep later tonight.   [via.]

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