This is how the interview would have gone down if the crackerjack investigative reporter, Nellie Bly, got her assumed wish to interview former president Grover Cleveland. Location: The Land Of Intrigue And Suspense (Also Assumption).

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"Today, I have the great honor of interviewing Grover Cleveland..."

"...the only person to serve two non-consecutive terms as president of the United States of America."

"It is an honor, sir. An honor."

"Why, thank you."

"And thank you."


"Mr. former President Cleveland, sir, could you tell us what you did in between your two non-consecutive terms?"


"...I can certainly tell you something I did not do."

"I most certainly did NOT run for president."


" did."


"Mr. former President, sir?"

"Mr. President?"

"I can see you, sir. You are behind that lamp post."


"You are behind that garbage bin."


"You are behind that steamboat."


"You are behind President Taft."



"...what do you want me to say?"

"I would like you to admit that what you just said is wrong, sir."


"Oh, never mind."