Answering Google's Most Popular Questions

1. I think she's the goalie for the women's olympic soccer team. 

2. Warren? Bob?

3. You can only be talking about an irrigated prostate, in which case, please visit WebMD.

4. Hmm, how about "Eleanor Dickbutton"?

1. Try being a baller or getting a '64 impala, then your height won't matter. 

2. I didn't realize Disney princesses could use the internet. Try keeping your mouth shut.

3. See above about keeping mouth shut.

4. Scotch (tape and liquor)

 1. Wow, a lot of 4th graders doing science reports out there, huh? Astaxanthine is the answer.

2. This is clearly just a rhetorical question like, "Who let the dogs out" or "What is a rhetorical question?"

3. Probably astaxanthine.

4. To annoy Republicans. 

1. No way anyone really cares about this. Moving on...

2. Global warming. Summer. You're standing in the sun. Pick one. 

3. Cause the people at Google give you a round of applause when you admit to the internet you have an STD.

4.  Cause it's a vine that grapes grow on, C'MON PEOPLE!

1. Yes.

2. Yes.

3. Yes.

4. No.

1. Balloons. The big bang if you want to get into it. 

2. I'm reporting you, Creeper. (LA)

3. I'm reporting you, Stalker. (LA)

4. I am NEVER talking to you again. (LA)