People who might be the next coach of the Eagles

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November 30, 2012

Andy Reid is most likely gone after this season. So I think  Jeffrey Lurie next choice should be someone that will get the Eagles nation talking. Someone who will shake things up. Here are some choices............

A cat

Even the cold hearted fans of the Eagles would have a hard time getting mad at Coach Bob Mittens. It would be a pretty smart move cause nobody would run the score up on them. "Ok Belichick we got first and goal what is the call?" "Lets just punt it. Awwwwwwwwwwww look at Coach Mittens he is chasing Swoop


The Eagles should try to get this musical goddess. Now I am not 100% sure she knows anything about football but who cares?! If the Eagles got killed by the Cowboys 32-0. You would just have to have your head coach sing some lines from the classic tune Party At A Rich Dude's House to calm the fan base down

Mitt Romney

Why you ask? His plans for the next 4 years were canceled so why not? He already fucked over the worst type of people so he should move down to the second worst type. (1. Republicans 2. Eagles fans 3. Nazis)

Jerry Jones

 .....and while we are talking about asshole billionaires Mr. Jerry Jones would make a great choice. He is looking to show up all of the haters (Jimmy Johnson) that not only he is the best G.M ever but can out coach anyone(Jimmy Johnson) and what better way to show all of those assholes(Jimmy Johnson) up then to lead The Eagles to the second round of the playoffs one time in 6 years. SUCK IT D-BAGS!!!! (JIMMY JOHNSON)

This guy

I don't know who this is however I do think he would do a better job then Andy Reid........


The only downside of this hire would be that Tebow would be your starting QB.

Phil Jackson

He has 11 rings! I can't see one reason why the triangle offense would not work in the NFL.......

Casey Anthony

 Hey if you need someone who can make tough decisions then look no further. I mean besides the mother from the movie "The Good Son" Casey is a great choice. She would not even think twice about cutting anyone who won't go along with the game plan and she could show Vick how to drown dogs without getting caught. Sounds like a win-win

Jeff Dunham

This guy would be a bargain. Not only would you get a head coach but his coaching staff would cost you nothing and they would be cheaper to fly cause they all fit into one suitcase

Mark Wahberg

Hey getting a former player is always a great choice. So why not get the best Eagle ever? They would play just like him. They would give a mediocre  performance for 2 and the half hours and get paid millions.

Garrett Reid

 I know what you are thinking......I know we had enough of the Reid family. But I think Garrett at the very least would give a more lively post-game press conference then his father.