The Funniest Dudes You Should Be Following in 2013

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Mario returns from another day of golfing, karting and tennis. "Did you do any plumbing today?" his wife asks. A hungry baby cries." @AaronBurdette

Favorite Tweet Pick: "We get it, girls with short hair. Okay no we don't." @alexjmann

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Women love to write famous people's deep quotes on Facebook that have the absolute opposite message of the way they live their lives." @andykozel

Favorite Tweet Pick: "They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that's a good way to save $ 399,984.05." @apatheticist

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Does speed kill? 

Over 15,000 people die annually from stimulants.

You do the meth." @BillSleazy

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Throw a baby badger so high that when it lands on your enemy it's fully grown and very upset. You left town years ago. The perfect crime." @ceejoyner

Favorite Tweet Pick: " ”Madea Goes To...*spins giant wheel*...WAFFLE HOUSE? Well, the wheel has spoken, boys; let's make a movie!” -Tyler Perry's creative process" @ChrisThayerSays

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Screw tax returns, I wanna see their Google searches for the last five years" @DaveSegal

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked." @donni

Favorite Tweet Pick: Hello, I'm waiter, I'll be your Walter tonight. Wait, the other way around. Sorry, first day. Care for a glass of Walter? Ooh boy ok @ebrawley

Favorite Tweet Pick: Started a game of hide and seek with my dad 20 years ago haha he's the best where are you man @Hadzilla

Favorite Tweet Pick: Just so we're clear on this, wait for me to dip then you dip then we both dip. @hobo_hands

Favorite Tweet Pick: Sometimes I pretend my hoodie sleeves are elephant trunks. My vote counts just as much as yours. @IanWearsPants

Favorite Tweet Pick: BREAKING: The Earth confirms that with Instagram being down tonight's sunset has been cancelled. @jamiesont

Favorite Tweet Pick: my heart says "tu", but my libido says "usted" @JonWiener

Favorite Tweet Pick: Just ONCE I'd like to dramatically realize something so hard that MY coffee mug falls out of my hand and smashes on the floor in slo-mo @kurtbraunohler

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Everybody dance exactly now." -O&CD Music Factory @Lee_Rubenstein

Favorite Tweet Pick: When my ex was on her period I would say "catch ya later, ovulater!". And she'd say "stop fucking saying that it's stupid". Haha we had fun. @MollyRingwraith

Favorite Tweet Pick: If you set fire to LMFAO they'll become ROTFLMAO. @Nickadoo

Favorite Tweet Pick: wait unicorns arent real? are u saying I SUCKED OFF A REGULAR HORSE??? @nickmullen

Favorite Tweet Pick: "I'm pretty stoked Michael Bay didn't get directing rights to my works." - J.R.R. Tolkien chatting with God @nickspears

Favorite Tweet Pick: I'm not surprised Kristen Stewart couldn't act faithful. She can't act happy, sad, frightened, mad, shocked or aroused either. @NotthatAdamWest

Favorite Tweet Pick: The guy who invented the couch should run for president. His campaign slogan could be "Dude, I invented the fucking couch." @pomranz

Favorite Tweet Pick: Too bad Anne Frank never saw Home Alone. Could have been a serious game changer in my opinion. @robfee

Favorite Tweet Pick: I want to see a TV show where people doing the master cleanse have to go to Africa and tell starving children about it. @ronbabcock

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Who ARE these people?" yelled Jerry Seinfeld, surrounded by those closest to him. The dementia had gutted him, the laughter had died. @SpaceJamb

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Hurricane Sandy." - Madea, informing Andy that the cans are right here. @thejoshpatten

Favorite Tweet Pick: Just bought an orange juice at Starbucks because I was tired of carrying around $4.65. @usedwigs

Favorite Tweet Pick: In England they call cigarettes 'football' @ZachBroussard

Favorite Tweet Pick: "I'm opening a cremation service called "Burnt and Urny." @zachsherwin