The new year is upon us, and if you are struggling with your New Year's resolutions already, then add following these 30 hilarious fellas to your list! Check out my collection of funny tweeters and my favorite tweets of theirs. Be sure to follow them all on Twitter and Enjoy!
Published January 02, 2013 8.2k views More Info »
106 Funny Votes
28 Die Votes
Published January 02, 2013

Aaron Burdette

B316fcbaeab6e6f9a3228b96280ccdae original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Mario returns from another day of golfing, karting and tennis. "Did you do any plumbing today?" his wife asks. A hungry baby cries." @AaronBurdette

View as slideshow

Alex J. Mann

261ca6951d78b63f652c04859a51c798 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "We get it, girls with short hair. Okay no we don't." @alexjmann

View as slideshow

Andy Kozel

1364385884edeee2093fe3cac3609e8c original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Women love to write famous people's deep quotes on Facebook that have the absolute opposite message of the way they live their lives." @andykozel

View as slideshow

Uptighty Whitey

Feb110bce05099baae56b1892083de76 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that's a good way to save $ 399,984.05." @apatheticist

View as slideshow

Billy Lotion

4668766acfa55dc89d22fe0b9d10ce6d original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Does speed kill? Over 15,000 people die annually from stimulants. You do the meth." @BillSleazy

View as slideshow


Bf6f1dd5f72c62693a74777c5adb2d1a original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Throw a baby badger so high that when it lands on your enemy it's fully grown and very upset. You left town years ago. The perfect crime." @ceejoyner

View as slideshow

Chris Thayer

A0de04bddbfde3efb0ce880115466a30 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: " ”Madea Goes To...*spins giant wheel*...WAFFLE HOUSE? Well, the wheel has spoken, boys; let's make a movie!” -Tyler Perry's creative process" @ChrisThayerSays

View as slideshow

Dave Segal

91c42192753158a2a1710aa18d017659 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Screw tax returns, I wanna see their Google searches for the last five years" @DaveSegal

View as slideshow


294c2759d87f9ce877f0738dfd010bfe original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked." @donni

View as slideshow

Eddie Brawley

Cb84aaedd07315b43759da35f6fce466 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: Hello, I'm waiter, I'll be your Walter tonight. Wait, the other way around. Sorry, first day. Care for a glass of Walter? Ooh boy ok @ebrawley

View as slideshow

Jeffrey Hadz

A2c1dd4652a9fcbf3fbda8aef7b952a3 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: Started a game of hide and seek with my dad 20 years ago haha he's the best where are you man @Hadzilla

View as slideshow


25ab2fa412161bdf16574bfc5281cdc8 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: Just so we're clear on this, wait for me to dip then you dip then we both dip. @hobo_hands

View as slideshow


F553f56a091bf255bf38787e36f49bd4 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: Sometimes I pretend my hoodie sleeves are elephant trunks. My vote counts just as much as yours. @IanWearsPants

View as slideshow

Tom Jamieson

Fe7bcb7058a9086e655d4c254ab85b4a original

Favorite Tweet Pick: BREAKING: The Earth confirms that with Instagram being down tonight's sunset has been cancelled. @jamiesont

View as slideshow

Jonathon Taylor Wiener

16062d5b8e331db016105d7a14fb9b9a original

Favorite Tweet Pick: my heart says "tu", but my libido says "usted" @JonWiener

View as slideshow

Kurt Braunohler

3e72463ecd521245da831de24ed4ce37 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: Just ONCE I'd like to dramatically realize something so hard that MY coffee mug falls out of my hand and smashes on the floor in slo-mo @kurtbraunohler

View as slideshow

Lee Rubenstein

5f238ca1ab3a6318e570bca6fc541df5 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Everybody dance exactly now." -O&CD Music Factory @Lee_Rubenstein

View as slideshow


2b4789ce3366fd77c4a24c93e8c1f0ae original

Favorite Tweet Pick: When my ex was on her period I would say "catch ya later, ovulater!". And she'd say "stop fucking saying that it's stupid". Haha we had fun. @MollyRingwraith

View as slideshow

Nick Stadler

F98fec98378ddace45325dbcc38234b4 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: If you set fire to LMFAO they'll become ROTFLMAO. @Nickadoo

View as slideshow

Nick Mullen

25a39f0b960a278042df5f584ff47a1d original

Favorite Tweet Pick: wait unicorns arent real? are u saying I SUCKED OFF A REGULAR HORSE??? @nickmullen

View as slideshow

Nick Spears

44ae3c4fb9eca1693abad79dd22af71c original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "I'm pretty stoked Michael Bay didn't get directing rights to my works." - J.R.R. Tolkien chatting with God @nickspears

View as slideshow

West Lee

10e744ef8257ddebb8ebaf30fa53306c original

Favorite Tweet Pick: I'm not surprised Kristen Stewart couldn't act faithful. She can't act happy, sad, frightened, mad, shocked or aroused either. @NotthatAdamWest

View as slideshow

Mike Pomranz

C4a67675216d0a3ed3ff031798ffa83f original

Favorite Tweet Pick: The guy who invented the couch should run for president. His campaign slogan could be "Dude, I invented the fucking couch." @pomranz

View as slideshow

Rob Fee

0d66fd349912af0829105ed5c4134ead original

Favorite Tweet Pick: Too bad Anne Frank never saw Home Alone. Could have been a serious game changer in my opinion. @robfee

View as slideshow

Comedy's Ron Babcock

9e287559dd96e9261568a585dbdf08ec original

Favorite Tweet Pick: I want to see a TV show where people doing the master cleanse have to go to Africa and tell starving children about it. @ronbabcock

View as slideshow


Afabef3364bb6f445f4c6d8b65f46493 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Who ARE these people?" yelled Jerry Seinfeld, surrounded by those closest to him. The dementia had gutted him, the laughter had died. @SpaceJamb

View as slideshow

Josh Patten

3ecd2b87f0c377f6b26e005e46e0d495 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Hurricane Sandy." - Madea, informing Andy that the cans are right here. @thejoshpatten

View as slideshow

Jeff Lyons

875e489b6b302a246e839538c36c2e4e original

Favorite Tweet Pick: Just bought an orange juice at Starbucks because I was tired of carrying around $4.65. @usedwigs

View as slideshow

Zach Broussard

F7c1d00da00909bb2f4e28626cbebf68 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: In England they call cigarettes 'football' @ZachBroussard

View as slideshow

Zach Sherwin

D07841905dfa191a036cf6f398044617 original

Favorite Tweet Pick: "I'm opening a cremation service called "Burnt and Urny." @zachsherwin

View as slideshow
< prev View as list next >

From Around the Web