You made it to the big leagues. Now everyone will see your name in lights. Little kids will proudly wear your jersey to school. Hold on, your name is what?

Chubby's my father. Please, call me Semi.

Chubby Cox

You really gotta spray something on that.

Rusty Kuntz

How do you throw a curve? Two here and one where?

Urban Shocker

"I beg you, please call me Berland."

Cumberland "Cum" Posey

With what?

Phyllis Mangina

On the pitch, this guy is silent, but deadly.

Dean Windass

Let's give her some privacy.

Yoshie Takeshita

And he's willing to tell you all about it.

Steve Sharts

Google it. This is someone's name.

Craphonso Thorpe

The originator.

Dick Butkus

His full name is Richard Feltapenis.

Dick Felt

He was teased a lot as a kid for being named after Ethan Hawke.

Ethan Faggett

Her sister's name is, of course, Anita.

Ivana Mandic

Put me down for a maybe.

DeWanna Bonner

He'll meet any competitor's price.

Fair Hooker

The Cootiest.

Jim Bob Cooter

For a football player, this is SO close to being a great name.

Kyle Sackrider

This guy makes it really tough to cheer for him.

Kim Yoo Suk

This one is just heartbreaking. Sorry dude.

Lucious Pusey

He compenstates by driving a really fast car.

Dick Trickle

Not with gloves that big he doesn't.

Ron Tugnutt

If you're his quarterback, be careful about sticking your hands under there.

Buzz Nutter

Unfortunately, he didn't have much of a personality either.

Uwe Blab

He was always tempting his teammates to go out late at night and sell their souls, or whatever.

Miroslav Satan

What a dumb name. He's a person, not a bird.

Larry Bird