Martinelli's is one of the leading producers of non-fun, all ages beverages possibly in the entire universe and they're embracing that image this year with their new ad campaign.

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Martinelli's Sparkling Cider: Don't have fun, have Martinelli's...

Martinelli's: It was almost a party.

Martinelli's: As in, "Who the fuck brought this Martinelli's?"

Martinelli's: We put it in cider... Get it...? Put it "in cider"..? But it sounds like "put it inside her"... Martinelli's, mothafuckaaaaahhhhsss!!!!

Martinelli's: What church people drink when they're not hating gays.

Martinelli's Sparkling Cider: Semen free since 1890!

Martinelli's: Non-alcoholic. Soooo... Have some.... Please..?