A brilliantly brief look into the magical phenomenon that is Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith's voice.
By mistereffoex 262 views More Info
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Published: January 03, 2012

#LovieSmithsVoice

If I haven't mentioned before, Chicago is my hometown and I'm a huge Bears fan. Not too long ago, I damn-near perfected Chicago Bears coach Lovie Smith's voice. I always knew he had the best and softest voice in the world, but not until I emerged myself in his phonetic poetry did I realize how globally influential his voice truly is. While the list of wildly intriguing shit about #LovieSmithsVoice is endless, I will simply list my top ten and let you think of a few of your own. Enjoy.

#LovieSmithsVoice

Try swearing using #LovieSmithsVoice. It's physically impossible.

#LovieSmithsVoice

All FBI hostage negotiators must pass an extensive five-year course perfecting #LovieSmithsVoice.

#LovieSmithsVoice

Usher's 'Nice & Slow' Instrumental + #LovieSmithsVoice = Foreplay.

#LovieSmithsVoice

Here's a joke. A guy walks into a bar. He has #LovieSmithsVoice. He gets free drinks all night.

#LovieSmithsVoice

Customer satisfaction would be 100% if every operator had #LovieSmithsVoice.

#LovieSmithsVoice

Lovie Smith is consistently mellow as shit. The one instance in which #LovieSmithsVoice has any inflection is defined as a "concerned whisper."

#LovieSmithsVoice

All children's bedtime stories should be read in #LovieSmithsVoice.

#LovieSmithsVoice

I think in A Few Good Men if Jack Nicholson would have gave his famous "You Can't Handle the Truth" speech in #LovieSmithsVoice, he would have been found not guilty on all counts.

#LovieSmithsVoice

If you ask your classmate what the answer to a test question is using #LovieSmithsVoice, it's not considered cheating (by law).

#LovieSmithsVoice

If you ever find yourself thinking, "Hey, that sounds like #LovieSmithsVoice," turn around. He's literally right fucking in front of you.  

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