Reward your significant someone with a badge of honor each time you reach a relationship milestone, or use them as incentives if your sweetie is an achievement whore who MUST COLLECT THEM ALL!

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February 07, 2012

Drunk Make Outs

I don't care how long you've been together. If you can't have a good tipsy make out session once in a while, you're dead inside.  Whether this badge celebrates how you met or is a milestone enjoyed along the way, Drunk Make Outs deserves to be worn proudly! Depending on how the night went, you may have earned the companion Moral Support While Puking badge to go with it!

My Pet Likes You!

And you have the scars to prove it! Making sure your significant other can co-exist with your pet is very important. After all, you wouldn't want to have to choose, because then it'll just turn into a who- has- a- squishier- face contest, and my cat will always win. ALWAYS! Whether your pet is a finicky feline, a psychotic parrot, or an unimpressed lizard, their decision to let your special somebody stick around is worth celebrating!

Breaking the Fart Barrier

You've been agonizing for months; clenching it in, running the sink in the bathroom so she can't hear you. Then one day you just decide, fuck it. You let it rip. When she cracks one right back, you know she's the one.

Moral Support While Puking

Whether it's due to too many cranberry vodkas or a single serving of funky clam chowder, puking is pretty much hell. As you kneel on the cold bathroom floor, clutching the toilet for dear life, there's nothing more comforting than a kind word and a kiss on top of the head (you know, because your face is covered in disgusting). This badge is also a great badge of honor for your favorite drinking buddy!

Met the Parents

While probably the most normal of the series, meeting the parents is certainly no small task. You will be scrutinized, you will be asked tedious old people questions about your job, you will be asked what phase of your fertility cycle you're in and why you're not making them a million grand babies RIGHT NOW. They have the names picked out already! You're going to give them a Gertrude and like it!! Commemorate surviving the ordeal with a badge, and pledge to get sterilized asap.

You've Accepted My Fetish

Perhaps the most difficult to achieve, and the ballsiest to wear! Everybody likes a little something extra, whether it's a simple admiration for a killer pair of heels, or a fantasy involving someone dressed as your spirit animal wrapping you in a giant burrito while singing Willie Nelson songs. I'm not saying that's me, I'm just saying there's got to be someone out there who's into that. When you find that special someone who will indulge your weirdness, entirely free of judgement and mostly free of laughing at you, you've got something great.

Boyfriend Badges-Series 1

Are you up to the challenge?  Do you have what it to takes to be a kick ass boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, friend, or f*ck buddy? Get the set of 6 now and put your money where your mouth is!